I've had some bad news and some good news this week. It depends how you want to take it. I went for an MRI and an echo cardiogram on Tuesday and they found that I have a benign brain tumour. It was terribly scary, especially as (like in the movies) then asked if anybody was with me. When I replied my father in law had just gone to the car they said they'd send somebody to get him. That was enough to scare the shit out of me! They informed me that they had found a tumour behind my right ear, that it was benign, that it isn't a dangerous tumour at all but that the place where it sits is. I didn't know whether that meant that it's hard to remove it from there or what they meant. They had already contacted the neuro surgeons at the Alfred Hospital who said to come in on Wednesday, no appointment necessary. The Alfred called me twice that night to confirm, making me shit my pants even more. I have had headaches for years in the back of my head which I put down to posture/stress/bad neck, now I know why. Tuesday night as my headache was pounding, probably due from panic and lack of sleep, I stressed thinking that I should go right then and there.
Wednesday came and I felt dreadful. I even packed a bag, thinking that surely they couldn't send me home feeling like this, they'd have to operate immediately. I even had to hold on to Paul on the long, long walk from the car park. We got in really quickly much to the annoyance of the hundred others waiting, (maybe not quite that many...) which panicked me a tad too. But once I was in there and spoke with their very competent surgeon I knew I was in the right place. And that it will be ok. And I felt much better which showed that half of it was panic! I still have dizziness and balancing problems but I don't feel as sick now. It's a bad position because of what it presses on, you can lose hearing amongst other things. It's also your balance centre, which is why I have been wobbly on my feet. They do however think that it's not the cause of my seizure type of activity last week. They said it's not in that area of the brain. They are referring me on to the neurology department there for further testing and I still have to have the heart monitor to double check that too. But on the positive side, if it hadn't happened they never would have caught the tumour. It's a slow growing one, it's 2cms so would have started about 20 years ago. So they're talking about me in a meeting on Monday to decide which of the 2 types it could be and which of the 2 surgeons will work on me. I'll have a huge scar but all going well I will have my life so who gives a fuck about a scar! 'Scuse the French!
The good news is that I am now allowed to buy wigs and claim them on medical insurance! I know that sounds silly but I don't care, I need something positive to focus on and that's it. I've always loved wigs but could never afford them. I spoke to a lovely lady at the cancer council, asking for guidance as to where I may get one, as they donate them to people who have lost their hair. I wasn't expecting one from them but she told me that I do qualify. I then however spoke with my health insurance and they said I can claim 2 each year up to $250 each! I found somebody who comes to the house so she's coming next week and my friend is coming to help me choose a couple! I don't have a problem with baldness, but my scar will apparently be down my neck and I don't want to grow my hair long again, I think it will age me more as my hair is grey. I can't be fagged dying it again so a wig is a good solution I think. And why not, use the perks I get!
As I still have 5 1/2 weeks left of the program I shall see how far I can go until the operation. Either way it will be good. I either have the op after my challenge finishes or beforehand in which case I'll either do my ending photo beforehand (if allowed) or at the end with my turban (or my scar showing). The only problem will be if I have the op in the actual 16th week which knowing my luck I will! It gives me something else to focus on and I want to lose the weight because I worked for it, not because I was in hospital spewing for a week! Though if that's how I lose the last few kilos that's ok too, has to be a bright side, right?
A few people have either said (or thought) that the shakes were the reason for the seizure. I know they're not. It's an excellently balanced program, run by a guy who really knows what he's talking about. Up until now I've felt better than ever before. I still think it's all related somehow. I know I have lost a lot but the main bit was the first 2 weeks, since then the average has been about a kilo a week, some less than a kilo. I'm eating excellent meals and a balanced diet. So please don't worry, I know what I'm doing and it really is safe. And the electrolytes have all been tested and in the doctors words, my blood tests were pristine! So please keep up with me on this journey, I'd hate to think people thought less of me for wanting to keep going or think I'm naïve to want to continue. I'll be in the best shape ever to have an op, not too overweight, non smoker, non drinker, all good!