End of week 15, no change in weight

Well as predicted I ended up losing nothing this week. And that's ok. I did in fact put on during the week and did pull the proverbial finger out and lost it again. So silly as it sounds I'm ok with that! I've got a week to go, I'm going to make sure it's a goodun. Not that I will stop after that, but it keeps me accountable saying that I've got a week.
Ray Kelly (my Rapid Loss guru) put a photo of past winners on the facebook page this morning. Gee it was inspiring! So good to see people who have not only been through the program but are still maintaining their weightloss. A few who are on the forum are finishing this week, the change is amazing. Even forgetting about the weight loss side, the change in the pride and confidence on their faces is wonderful. I can't wait to be there too!
I'm putting my photos up now. I'm pleased to say that I can still see a difference even though I didn't lose this week. If you remember however I lost well last week but actually didn't show any difference in my photos, so it's caught up! Again, first is this week, second is last week, third is first week. Wish me luck in the final week of my challenge folks!

 

 

 



 

Sabotage

I feel like I've been sabotaging myself this week. With just over a week to go I've not been good at all . If you include cappuccino, which you should, I've snacked about 3 times this week whereas I've barely done this at all through the whole challenge, maybe 2 cappuccinos in the whole time? I even had a small piece of hedgehog, something I haven't done at all. I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would either, though at the time it was lovely. It didn't make me want more though so I saw that as a good sign.

I did silly things like having pizza. I had 3 slices. We've had pizza twice since I started the challenge and normally I get a medium for Paul and I have 2 pieces. Of vegetarian. With ham. This time I thought I'd order marinara which a) meant no veggies and b) meant that the toppings were more scarce, meaning it had shitloads of cheese on it. And it was a large meaning the pieces were bigger yet didn't fill me up because there was no substance.  And it wasn't very nice either, quite floppy and too greasy, it made me feel quite ill. I hate it when that happens, if I have to pay the price weight wise for eating the wrong foods, I should at least be able to enjoy it!

I wasn't going to write on here about my slip ups then I thought it's all part of the journey, I can't just write the good bits so I just thought I'd get it all out here.

I had my surgeon appointment this week. They call him the Professor. He looked nothing like my professor, the one I had a crush on from Gilligan's Island. Nothing at all. He told me that I will go deaf in my right ear. I was worried about paralysis as I had been told there is a 1 in 3 chance of this happening, and out of those odds a 10 - 15% chance of it being permanent. It scared the crap out of me. He tells me that there certainly is a high likelihood of it happening but that unless the nerve is completely severed (something he has never done) it will not be permanent. Could be up to 2 years but I can cope with that. I don't want to cope with that at all, but I can still have a bit of a laugh, and hang shit on myself which I am good at doing, if I know it wont last forever. He said it will be a very long operation, up to 12 hours. There is an ear/nose and throat surgeon who will be tag teaming him. Professor will do his bit, the other guy will do a bit, professor will come back. He said you can't do a really long op like that without a break. Clearly he didn't watch Amelia Shepherd performing brain surgery for 18 hours on Grey's Anatomy the other night. He said they'd have to take a bit of fat from my tummy to put up there for some reason, maybe to act as some sort of poly filler? He could have told me that 20 kilos ago. Though if he had used it all I'd look a bit elephant manny on my head so probably just as well.

Because of my numerous slip ups this week I thought I'd do the 48 hour detox. Normally you'd do this at the beginning but of course I don't do things the normal way. I started it this morning and don't think I can continue. It's just so sweet! I wonder if I wouldn't have thought this had I done it at the beginning instead? Having a bit of nausea anyway doesn't help either. So I'll just have to face facts, I need to pull the finger out and do better this weekend, and I probably wont lose anyway. And it serves me right. I certainly plan on coming back good though, I have a week until the end of the challenge, I have to get back on track so that I don't fall in a heap once the competition is over, I still have more to lose!

End of week 14 weigh in 84.3 1.1 down from last week

Well that was a surprise. I've been much more stage 3 foods than stage 2 this week. This means that I can choose what I have for my main meal, and make wise choices. So I'm still not snacking which doesn't bother me at all, I'm just not being quite so rigid. As long as I got to my 20 kilos loss within the challenge I was pretty happy so slowing down after that by doing stage 3 is what I am expecting. And it goes quite well, I did stage 1 for my first 10 kilos, stage 2 for my second 10 kilos, stage 3 for the last. I've only 2 weeks to go of my official challenge but of course I'll keep going afterwards until I've gotten down to my 75 kilos.

I've had a fairly good week food wise actually. My sort of rules are, no snacks still, no carbs after lunchtime except for my shake. And at this stage that will probably still include no pasta, rice or potato at all. Yesterday for example I had beans on toast for the first time in forever, on wholegrain toast. Which was probably a really stupid choice for the day before weigh in because I look bigger in todays photo than last week's because I'm rather bloated and gassy! I don't mind the gassy, my regular readers would know that, but bloated isn't the look you want for your week 14 photo shoot! I have changed things around because I feel quite ill by dinner time and just can't eat a proper meal. I fancied a plain old toasted cheese sandwich on Sunday but firstly wasn't sure about cheese and secondly didn't want to have the bread at night. As the kids are at school this week and Paul is at work for the most part, I can manage something like tomatoes and onion on toast for lunch, I just can't cook or eat a meal at night time. So I'll see how I go.

I went to meet up with the surgeon yesterday to discuss the operation and he didn't turn up. Not happy Jan! I did get 2 follow up calls apologizing profusely for his absence and they've fit me in at 9am on Thursday. Seeing as Paul took the day off and we live at least an hour away that will be much easier. Peak hour and 3 kids to get ready before say 7.30am, then somehow getting them to school, great! And yes I'm holding up my sarcasm sign.

OK now for the photos. I shall keep putting on the ones from my first week, just because they make me feel so damned good! Bear in mind the first one is of this week, and I do look more bloated but I did lose a kilo, I pinky swear! Mind you after putting them on, I think I look smoother in the front on view, smoother on the sides.  I shall also put a couple of photos on at the end of me in my new wig, all ready for my spunky new after operation look! I rather like it, I have another coming this week too. It's all a bit of fun really, got to get what I can out of this bloody thing! I especially like how big my boobs look!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

84.8 kilos - 20.2 lost altogether!

This is a real milestone for me. In many ways. Firstly because on the rapid loss forum you get a little gold badge that says 20 kgs plus lost, and I've now earned that badge. Secondly because it means I'm 2/3 of the way to where I want to be. Thirdly because I thought I'd have to revise my goals when they discovered this pain in the arse brain tumour. I did scale my challenge goal back to 20, happy to lose my next 10 after the operation. Now I'm going to go over what I had thought I would get as I still have 2 1/2 weeks to go. I'm feeling so pumped!

I went to the hospital on Tuesday for all of my pre op checks. They say it will be a few weeks yet but that's ok. Get's me to finish my challenge, gets me to be home with my babes on mothers day. Then get this bloody thing out! My head is killing me, I feel dizzy most of the time and I can't do anything. So at the moment I feel like I'm waiting around. It's going to be a long journey. I got some strong painkillers from the doctors on Wednesday but they made me off my face (which I didn't mind to start with) then really, really nauseous all afternoon. I ended up throwing up on Wednesday night (just once) and yesterday (Thursday) I felt like I had a hangover all day so it was just vile. Now I've got panadeine of different strengths to try and balance what I need. I feel much better this morning as far as the nausea is concerned, still feel like I'm going to fall over but I'll go back to bed in a minute. Have to type this on the computer first!

I was talking to a friend yesterday about how hard it is to start a program. The thing I love about the Rapid Loss program is that you can see results fairly early on. Having 30 kilos to lose, it's easy to get disheartened before you even start. I kept thinking about how, when I'd lost weight before, I'd started at the top at 82 kilos. I knew that by the end of my 3 months or however long it was, that I would be at my goal weight and start to look better pretty early on. People would notice after just a few kilos and that would spur me on to do better and feel prettier. It's not that simple at 105 kilos or in the 140s like one of my friends was. You know that you'll still look overweight for a long time to come. For me it's now all starting to come together. And it feels like I've just started in a way. But then I think 'my God, I've been doing this for over 3 months, that's such a long time really!' But I guess in the scheme of things it isn't. I think if I had lost the weight any other way I would be down half of what I am now, and still feeling like nothing was showing for it. I would have given up by now. I know it's not for everybody, and it really is quite limiting, but the other great thing is that my way of eating is different now. There's no way I'm going back to what I was. At the moment I don't want the sweet and fried things. I'm sure that will change, but I hope that I've learnt my lesson and may indulge but then get back on track again. Or not indulge as much as I once did. And luckily I'm the proof that you lose weight on it even when not exercising which is just as well at the moment!

End of week 13, 85.4 kilos

Well I've had a totally slack week to tell you the truth. Again no chocolate or anything purposely naughty, just not strict meals at meal times. Still healthy choices but not the choices I would have chosen had I had an option really.

One slip up I wasn't happy about was when Paul took the kids to mini golf on Saturday. He promised Beth that they would get Red Rooster for lunch if she went because she never wants to go anywhere. He called me and asked if I wanted anything. By this time it was 1.30pm and I was hungry so I said yes if they had grilled wraps then I'd have that please. He asked them for grilled but when I got the wrap it was fried. There were 3 long nuggets in there so not major, but still not what I wanted. I started off saying no, then realized that it was going to waste, everybody else had what they wanted, so I ended up eating it. And I must admit it was yummy! Other than that I've been ok, but again, little things that aren't in the program, not until stage 3 anyway.

I made up for it yesterday. I drank like a fish and pissed like a horse! I hadn't budged from the same weight for about 4 days so vowed that I'd be better for weigh in. I had had neurofen because my head had been so bad, but knowing that it's a water retainer said I wouldn't have it yesterday. I ate really well, made sure I had my 2 fruits and the results were that I ended up losing pretty well considering.

I have my big appointment at the hospital today, the pre op one. I'm fairly scared with lots of questions to ask, some big, some not so big. It's a doozy too, between 3 and 7 hours. I don't think it will be too long before I have the operation now. I have 3 weeks left of the challenge, I've spoken to the staff about the possibility of me cutting it short if I have to and they're ok with it, they understand that I can't help it. Of course I'll go as long as I can, to the day before surgery if it's before the 5th of May.

OK here's my photos. Again, I see my shelf at the top of my tummy. But I think that happens before I see the flattening out again, it's been a few times now. I don't think I look any bigger. I'll put week one in again for fun. So this week, last week, 1st week!

 

 

 

 

86.1, not bad for Easter Tuesday

Way back in the olden days when I went to school (also known as the black and white days for some of it) we only had 3 school terms. Which meant that we had Easter as an extra holiday. And, for a short while as I remember, this included Easter Tuesday. Not sure if it was a public holiday but I'm pretty sure we had it off of school. Today is Easter Tuesday. And I still lost 1.2 kilos this week!

I'm pretty bloody proud of myself because it's the first time in many, many years that I haven't had chocolate before breakfast on Easter. Or hot cross buns on Good Friday.  In fact as a kid I ate so much chocolate that I'd always end up vomiting, then eating more chocolate! My normal adult Easter would consist of a lindt chocolate bunny, followed by bacon and eggs, and a roast dinner for lunch/dinner. Much the same as when I was a kid really. We had Good Friday down at my Dad's wife's house, as we always did when Dad was alive. I went worried as the kids and I haven't been down there since Dad passed away last year but it was a lovely afternoon. Lots of lovely foods to choose from, I had baked salmon which was delicious and Asian Coleslaw. Both of which are not on stage 2 of the Rapid Loss menu. But both of which were the best choices. Anything else was full of delicious cheesy, creamy, pasta-ey (I just made that up, can you tell?) or pastry goodness. I was very happy with my decision. I did get asked how long I had to keep 'doing this' for now so I started to explain then went on to say, just 4 more weeks. The truth is that I was so happy with my choice, not feeling sick or stodgy afterwards, I really want to eat like this forever after. Maybe not as far as shakes for 2 meals are concerned, but certainly making wise choices when it comes to my meals. Normally I would have a bit of everything, then a bit of everything again but I found I didn't have to do that, I was very satisfied with what I had. There were also delicious desserts to be had and I didn't partake in any of them either. I was more than happy with my mandarin. What the hell is happening to me?!!!

Saturday we went next door for lunch so while they all ate their pies I stayed in the other room reading the paper. I'm getting used to it now, doesn't bother me at all anymore. Sunday I had no chocolate at all. AT ALL! It was just a normal day for me. We had been given 2 boxes of chocolates from family but I'll keep them for guests. I'm still so in the zone it's scary! I've been quite excited this week. I've made good friends with a lady called Cel from the Rapid Loss forum. She's on her second round this year of RL and is doing really well. As I have 4 weeks left of the challenge she has decided to go gung ho with me in these 4 weeks and has already done really well. It's wonderful to have a weight loss buddy who is as focussed as you are. It can go the other way as I've learnt from experience, but this is a good healthy 'let's kick some weightloss arse' relationship and we're both loving it. We're both focussed and determined and I've promised that after my op I'll be right back on board to do the same with her.

So I'm nearly at my 20 kilos, how exciting! I've sort of revised my goal, if I go in early for the op I figure as long as I've got to my 20 I'll be ok. I've got 1.1 kilos to go before I get there. As I don't have my pre op appointment until next week I know I'll get that in. And I know I wont be going in straight after that either so I'll lose more beforehand. If I get to the end of the 16 weeks I may even get 22 or 23 kilos down, leaving me with just 8 to get to my goal weight. How bloody exciting! As I weigh in I still can't believe the numbers. I keep thinking there is something unbalancing the scales until I remember, no, this is what I weigh now. I can't thank Rapid Loss enough for giving me my life back, the staff and the follow contestants have truly been my lifeline. And of course my friends and family and their wonderful support. I will go into my op healthier than I've ever been before! Here's my photos for this week. Again, not sure I can see much difference but I could see a big one last week so that's ok. Though after putting them up, I think I do look a bit smoother on the front one. First one is this week (toilet seat is down thanks Robyn!) Second one is last week.

 

 

86.9 going ok

I just thought I'd do a quickie, happy to be under another number so hopefully will now stay in the 86s range rather than go back up into the 87s. I've decided that I'll be really happy to get to 85kilos for the challenge. Don't get me wrong, I'll keep going as long as the challenge is on, but if I slow down and end up losing 20 kilos then I'll be more than happy with that. I'm nearly there anyway, I've lost 18.1 kilos and I still have 4 1/2 weeks to go until the end. If I get there op wise.
I had a call from them, I have an appointment a week on Tuesday (it's Thursday here now) to do my pre op checks, blood tests etc. I've been deemed category 2 which is positive for me as it's not as urgent at category 1. They said this means within 3 months but they think it'll be sooner. The girl on the phone said probably next month some time. It's the big wig surgeon and he'll be doing it in conjuction with an ear nose and throat specialist so it's when they can coordinate themselves. I doubt I'd have a choice. If I did I'd like to make mention of Mother's Day being on the 10th of May. It would be lovely to be at home for that. If it was earlier than that then I'd still be in the hospital. My challenge finishes on the 5th of May so in a perfect world I would finish the challenge, have my bacon and pizza for Mother's Day and have the op the following week. Of course I wouldn't base when I was having a major operation on finishing a weight loss challenge but it would be lovely to finish it completely and know that I have lost my weight on my own merits of working bloody hard for 4 months. The last 8 or 10 kilos can come off later, when I get home or even partly in the hospital when I'm apparently not going to want to eat for 3 days.
I have my balance test at the hospital next Wednesday, nearly changed the date as I had my Intimo party on that day but figured they'd need the test results for the following week and it's a tad more important! Not looking forward to the prep for that one, I can't take any sleeping tablets for 5 nights before so I'll be an absolute basket case! 1 1/2 hours a sleep for 5 nights, you want unbalanced I'll show you unbalanced!
Trying on wigs was good fun! I picked two of them out. The photos aren't great but you'll get an idea. I chose the long brown one but in a slightly different shade of brown. And the short bob but in a redder colour. As I always do when I get my hair done, I felt like I needed makeup on afterwards, they looked so good. My sister and a couple of friends came around too so it was a fun morning.
I think I'll be spending the day in bed today, not feeling great at the moment. I started to feel really dizzy yesterday and it doesn't seem to have gone away. Lucky we have nothing much planned.
Here's the photos!