Monday 25 May 2015

Week 3 after comp, 80.9 - 1.1 kilos down this week

No doubt as my weight is still going down I shall be starting each blog post with how excited I am! Especially this close to the end. I guess because I'm not going all the way down to the middle of my weight range, rather sticking at the top end, it will still be fairly consistent. When I went to weight watchers all those years ago I got down to 68 kilos which was so hard to maintain. That's when the disappointment hits; you can't stick to anything, you may as well eat anyway as you can't do it, all the shitty things we tell ourselves to confirm that we're not worth it, that we're not good enough to look good. Well I'm telling myself that's bullshit this time. And that being 68 kilos is ridiculous for a 48 1/2 year old woman (49 in 7 weeks actually but who's counting) who loves to enjoy her social life and her food. 75 kilos I shall be and I shall rock it. Skinny just isn't for me. It's not like I am planning to wear bikinis on my trip to Fiji anyway, thought the dresses have been getting shorter again!

The exciting thing also is that it only seems like yesterday when I was at this bridge between the big numbers. Last time it was between 90 and 89 and I was so excited to finally see myself in the 80s. Now it's the 70s I'm looking forward to, then I'm on the home stretch!

I had a bit of excitement on the weekend. Needing new bras thanks to my incredible shrinking frame, I decided I'd have another Intimo party before my operation. I'm sure I wont be feeling like one afterwards for a while. A friend can't come to the party, and as she's never had a fitting, we went off to my lovely consultant and friend's house Lois to fit her. While we were there I decided to check out my favourite part of my body and have a fitting too. My boobs haven't shrunk hardly at all! Where I was a 40FF before, I am now a 34F. Now I know I still have 6 kilos to go (5.9 actually) but I'm nearly there. Hopefully will be pretty much there by the time my party rolls around on the 15th of June. How bloody exciting. In case you hadn't realised in previous posts, I do love my boobs so I'm happy to keep them big.

I'm also excited because I wrote a little article for a fabulous website called Champagne Cartel, all about my tumour. They've published it so here's a link.

Now for the photos. This week is first. I put a painting I'd done years ago on the toilet, just for my cousin Kerry! It was made with real sand for the sand and I cut out an old pair of bathers to make it look like real bathers.

 

 


Friday 22 May 2015

81.6 kilos

So far this week I've lost .4 of a kilo. Pretty happy with that, I'd be happy with a half a kilo a week now, or even maintaining. While I'm doing stage 3 I can make healthy food choices, it's really only dinner that is an issue. I have my weetbix in the morning and my shake as one meal, a healthy alternative as another. I had soup for lunch yesterday so when cooking the kids dinner last night just had a little bit of meat for some protein and a shake to tide me by.

I bought a lovely new dress this week. My friend was selling it on a buy/swap and sell site and I loved the look of it. As it was hers I was surprised that it fitted me but I really like how it looks. I'm really starting to notice the next stage in my weight loss now. My tummy can look flattish with my sucky in pants, my chin is no longer quadruple no matter what I do. I can't believe I only have 6 1/2 kilos to go to my goal, it's flown and dragged at the same time.

A new member joined the rapid loss forum yesterday and it was almost like reading a story about myself. Not her personal story, but her weight loss one. Having lost a lot of weight and getting loads of compliments she stalled before reaching goal. I am similar. In the past I would start a weight loss challenge at this weight. Now I think I look pretty good, but I know it's also in comparison to what I looked like at the beginning of the year. I also know I probably look much better at this weight than before because I've been eating really healthy to get down to here, rather than eating really crappy to get up to here! I want to finish, another thing to tick off the list. She also talked about how embarrassing it is to see people who had seen her lose weight the last time, thinking that they must be saying to themselves 'she put it all back on again.' I hear you sister. Aint gonna happen this time!

Speaking of lists, I was very excited to get my Dad's piano delivered yesterday. I have discovered my arty side in my 40s, doing art class which I love and writing my blogs. I've always wanted to learn the piano though. Dad had lessons in his 60s and I am starting mine on Tuesday! I can't wait. I have a very long bucket list, I know I wont be one of those people who never has anything to do because I'm always wanting to learn more. Learning to swim, and eventually to surf are on my list too. I feel that I am in such a good place to turn 50 next year, excited about what will come in my life and living my life to the full while I do it.

I am also having an article published on Monday for the lovely ladies at Champagne Cartel. They have a '10 things I know' column and I have written one for them regarding my benign brain tumour. They seem to like it and am interested in others when I get back on my feet. So another ambition ticked off!


Monday 18 May 2015

Week 2 after challenge. 82 kilos

Well I'm pleasantly surprised to find that I've lost another kilo. Excited in fact as last week's weigh in was actually on Wednesday instead of Tuesday, I sneakily gave myself another day because of Mother's Day. So in reality I've lost a kilo in 6 days. Seeing as I'm doing stage 3 properly now I'm pretty stoked with that. So, 23 kilos down, 7 kilos to go. I can't believe I'll soon be in the 70s!

I've been fairly constipated lately (sorry for the visual) due to the painkillers I'm taking for my headaches. I'm trying not to take them as often as I was but it's a catch 22, either having a dreadful headache or a dreadful gut-ache. At the moment I've scaled down to 1 strong painkiller instead of 2 and seeing how I go. My tummy is feeling a little better today so hopefully that's working. This does mean however that I am a little bloated.

I'm pleased with my week this week. I've had a few naughty treats but have been aware of what I am doing and not overdone it. I had sweet treats at art class on Friday but not a huge amount. And I took my youngest and her friend to the movies on Sunday and we had lunch there, they had chips and didn't eat them all so I had a few of them. Luckily for me they weren't that generous with them! I also had a choc-top. Both a first for over 4 months, I felt far too full and had a lie down afterwards! But I also had a shake for dinner to make sure I didn't blow the whole day. These are the main things I've got out of this whole experience. Getting back on track is imperative. And not denying what you've eaten. If you conveniently forget then it's easy to say you've been good all week and can have one treat. Forgetting that you've already had some. Also, not making it a free for all if you have strayed. I'm loving the freedom of stage 3, but also loving the new restrained me, the one that says I still have weight to lose and to get back on track. And water, water, water, that's the big one! Imagine what I would have lost if I hadn't strayed at all!

Here's the photos, this week first, then last week. I think I do look thinner actually. Please forgive the toilet duck in the foreground, it shows me which week is which as I'm not too good at putting the photos in order!

 
 
 
 
 

Tuesday 12 May 2015

Week 1 after challenge 83 kilos

Well I've had a pretty slack week since finishing my challenge. I think it took me a lot to stay focussed for the last few weeks of the challenge with all of my medical issues but I not only wanted to for the competition but because I don't want to slip up and start going back into my old slacker ways. Finishing meant that I can now be accountable to myself only (and to those who read my blog) and I think that the willpower has to still be there, which I'm happy to say is. Last week, looking forward to Mother's Day eating on Sunday, I think I was slipping here and there though. I went to art class and for the first time partook in sweets there. I drank normal coffee more than once a day. I just did little things that aren't on the program, but it's all the little things that add up isn't it? I did have a bit of the 'oh well, I'm probably going to put on this week anyway with Mother's Day' mentality which is the first time in the whole 16 weeks so I was pretty disappointed in myself there. I haven't done anything majorly wrong, I'm just hoping that I don't lose my focus this close to the end. I'm happy to do the stage 3 experimenting with different combinations for dinner, but I don't want the treats to creep in to my daily routines again. I'm ok with once a week or on special occasions but the 'old' me was having them not just once a day but every bloody cuppa and snack. I feel confident enough to say that my awareness makes me not want to do this any more. As they say, if you want things to change, you need to change what you've always done.

Sunday was obviously the biggest slips but I don't mind that because I did say - way back at Easter - that Mother's Day was the day I wasn't going to watch what I ate at all. And you know what, I didn't really enjoy most of the treats. I asked the kids for a box of the new lindt salted caramel chocolate balls. Every year I get a box of the original red wrapped balls but these ones sounded yummy. We share the box and as I didn't want too much I shared it fairly evenly this time, ending up with just 4 balls which was perfect. I didn't enjoy them as much as the original ones though but that was good in a way, I had enough! I then had bacon and eggs. For some reason Paul thought he'd treat me with the fatty long bits of bacon along with the middle rashers that I would have liked. To me, even before rapid loss, 2 pieces of middle rashers is fine for a serve of bacon. But not for my husband. It's like a jenga game with bacon, let's see how many pieces you can pile up on top of the toast before it topples! As I'm not feeling great at the moment anyway, for the first fried thing in 4 months it wasn't as enjoyable as I'd hoped. Then we went to my inlaws for lunch where I ate quiche. This was lovely but I don't seem to have the appetite that I once had (which is a good thing), though I did finish it. Then, ridiculously so, I defiantly had not 1 but 2 tim tams, almost to make up for my not liking my chocolate balls! It was such a silly thing to do though I did enjoy dipping them in my coffee. We had Crust pizza for tea, Paul didn't want to share with me so I got a garlic prawn one. It was nice enough but they are quite pricey and I like our local pizzas more. I've heard amazing reviews about Crust from a few friends so maybe our local one just isn't that great. Don't get me wrong, I had a lovely day, and the kids were wonderful. I think because I'm not feeling well it was just disappointing that if I was going to be naughty I couldn't even enjoy it that much! AND I had the leftover pizza for lunch the next day which was actually even yummier. I can't waste a $19 pizza, especially with yummy big prawns on it.

Suffice to say I was surprised yesterday morning to weigh in and find I had still lost .2 of a kilo. I was anticipating up to a kilo gain and was prepared for this, getting back on track straight after. In fact I was so worried about it that I didn't bother weighing in each morning as I normally do because I thought I'd depress myself even more! So I guess I got lucky this week, maybe it will show next week. But I suppose also, other than Friday and Sunday I had no other sweet treats. I drank lots of water and I ate healthy meals for my other foods. So even though I cheated, it was a planned cheat if you know what I mean? Not a 'stuff it' treat.

So I'll still put my photos, though I looked so skinny in my full ones last week I can't see that I'll look better in these ones. Never mind though, I'm calling this week 1 again, after the challenge so if I look bigger I'll just consider that I'll keep getting smaller again from now on. And I've got until June the 24th until my operation now, 6 bloody weeks! I wont get my whole 8 kilos off but I'll get close. I'm not even going to pretend that I feel like I have to, I'm happy to lose the last lot slowly over winter and if I just make sure that I lose slowly, I'll concentrate on being prepared for my op. Have a great week everybody! First photo is this week, second is last week xx


 

 

Monday 4 May 2015

End of challenge! 83.2 kilos, meaning 21.8 kilos lost!

Woo bloody hoo! I made it! 16 weeks! I really can't believe it. I've started lots of things with great intentions and I don't seem to have many after photos. Especially with so much weight to lose. Before when I've started I've been at the weight I am at now. I started this at 105 kilos! I lost 1.1 kilos this week.

I was speaking with a friend yesterday who's contemplating doing the challenge too. I said to her, when you're bigger it's so scary, there is so much to lose and the thought of 'being on a diet' for so long with no differences apparent for such a long time is so overwhelming that it's just too hard. I kept thinking about how on a different weight loss plan, it would be about now that I might start to see some changes and I would have given up long ago. It's very disheartening to not only feel that crap about yourself, but to be working bloody hard and not seeing any results. That's what happens when for whatever reasons you put lots of weight on. It's an unending spiral of self hatred, feeling depressed because you're so overweight and feel so crappy, making you eat to stuff your feelings back inside. But hey, 4 months ago that's where I was. And I decided to do something about it and it feels great. I am really proud of myself, despite all of the obstacles I've had along the way I've maintained that it's me that has control of my weight, nobody else, and I've done it. Obviously I still have a bit to go, I still have 8 kilos to lose before getting to goal. But bloody hell, it feels great to say that I have 8 kilos to lose rather than 30! So if you're contemplating doing it, do it! I've put it all out there, more than I probably should have perhaps! But hopefully I've shown people that if I can do it, so can you. Of course I'll keep writing and keep losing but it's such a milestone today. With having my operation I didn't even know if I'd be able to finish my 16 week challenge. Now I have finished it, I can move on to the next challenge of getting this pain in the arse tumour taken out of my head. Wonder how much it weighs..........

Here's my photos, the whole bloody lot this time! Woohoo! (I must admit I did suck my tummy in just a little for the last side one. I ate late last night and I thought it looked even bigger. I didn't for the front one though and I think it still looks slimmer. Good to know I can now such it in a bit mind you!)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

Saturday 2 May 2015

83.6 nearly there!

21 today, 21 today, she's got the key to the door, hope it's for a room in Fiji! I know, I know, it doesn't rhyme but I bet you were singing at the start anyway. 21 kilos down so far! I actually hit the 21 kilo milestone a couple of days ago but I haven't been on the computer. Yesterday I didn't even weigh in as I had a halter monitor strapped to me. Probably not worth much weight wise but just in case I figured why make me more down about something that isn't my fault.

I've had a not bad week. I'm definitely at stage 3 now as far as food is concerned. I've had a few things with bread but making sure that it's never past lunchtime. So for example, when I got fitted for my halter monitor on Friday morning, a friend took me and it was done quicker than anticipated. We went for coffee and ended up sharing a brunch of bruschetta. It was delicious and I afterwards I did comment that I could easily have eaten a whole one to myself because it was so nice. But it was also enough. I have had tomatoes on toast for lunch on a couple of days too. I'm just not that hungry but I know I have to eat. I can barely eat at night, that's when I start to feel quite ill and am having a bit of a breathless sensation which apparently is all part of this lovely tumour. So the last thing I want to do is eat even a small meal, and I don't want to have bread then. Eating at lunchtime is a good solution for me, it gives my body a chance to digest it during the daytime and means that I can safely say I've had my meal and have a shake. I do make sure there's a veggie in there or two, the bruschetta was perfect. Today I'm going out for breakfast with my support group. I'm planning on a nice big breakfast with lots of veggies on the side, that will be my main meal for the day and I'm going to make the most of it! We haven't seen each other in ages and it will be a while til we see each other again so I'm looking forward to it.

I can't believe I'm nearly to the end of my challenge. Tuesday is my last day. I hope I can figure out how to make all my photos into one little one, I'd like to show all of them in a row if possible. Like a flip book if you will. It's so exciting that it's going the right way! I'm so grateful for all the support I've had with this challenge, from my friends and family to the wonderful staff and forum members I've met along the way. Again, here's the link if anybody wants to jump on board, there's only 3 weeks left to start the challenge. And here's their facebook page, there's a gorgeous lady on there called Sue who will answer all your questions, she's very helpful. And of course I'm on there ALL the time! There's been giveaways on there lately so have a squiz, in fact there's one on now that people can join. It seriously has changed my life. Apart from this stupid tumour which has inserted itself into my story (but certainly made it interesting) I have been feeling fantastic and love the differences. I am excited (and a little worried) about how much fun shopping will be again. I see in other weight loss ads, the 'after loss shots' the  girls are wearing the swinging dresses that are all the go, they all seem to have them on, from the 50s I believe? That style anyway, in at the boobs and a lovely swinging skirt coming out from the waist. I love that look and I shall be adopting that style for the summer. Probably one season late but that's me hey! I do like to reinvent myself at times. I also love the maxi dresses down to my ankles which I believe are coming back into fashion.