This is a real milestone for me. In many ways. Firstly because on the rapid loss forum you get a little gold badge that says 20 kgs plus lost, and I've now earned that badge. Secondly because it means I'm 2/3 of the way to where I want to be. Thirdly because I thought I'd have to revise my goals when they discovered this pain in the arse brain tumour. I did scale my challenge goal back to 20, happy to lose my next 10 after the operation. Now I'm going to go over what I had thought I would get as I still have 2 1/2 weeks to go. I'm feeling so pumped!
I went to the hospital on Tuesday for all of my pre op checks. They say it will be a few weeks yet but that's ok. Get's me to finish my challenge, gets me to be home with my babes on mothers day. Then get this bloody thing out! My head is killing me, I feel dizzy most of the time and I can't do anything. So at the moment I feel like I'm waiting around. It's going to be a long journey. I got some strong painkillers from the doctors on Wednesday but they made me off my face (which I didn't mind to start with) then really, really nauseous all afternoon. I ended up throwing up on Wednesday night (just once) and yesterday (Thursday) I felt like I had a hangover all day so it was just vile. Now I've got panadeine of different strengths to try and balance what I need. I feel much better this morning as far as the nausea is concerned, still feel like I'm going to fall over but I'll go back to bed in a minute. Have to type this on the computer first!
I was talking to a friend yesterday about how hard it is to start a program. The thing I love about the Rapid Loss program is that you can see results fairly early on. Having 30 kilos to lose, it's easy to get disheartened before you even start. I kept thinking about how, when I'd lost weight before, I'd started at the top at 82 kilos. I knew that by the end of my 3 months or however long it was, that I would be at my goal weight and start to look better pretty early on. People would notice after just a few kilos and that would spur me on to do better and feel prettier. It's not that simple at 105 kilos or in the 140s like one of my friends was. You know that you'll still look overweight for a long time to come. For me it's now all starting to come together. And it feels like I've just started in a way. But then I think 'my God, I've been doing this for over 3 months, that's such a long time really!' But I guess in the scheme of things it isn't. I think if I had lost the weight any other way I would be down half of what I am now, and still feeling like nothing was showing for it. I would have given up by now. I know it's not for everybody, and it really is quite limiting, but the other great thing is that my way of eating is different now. There's no way I'm going back to what I was. At the moment I don't want the sweet and fried things. I'm sure that will change, but I hope that I've learnt my lesson and may indulge but then get back on track again. Or not indulge as much as I once did. And luckily I'm the proof that you lose weight on it even when not exercising which is just as well at the moment!
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