Pretty happy with this week. Being a daily weigher (yes I know but I just can't help myself) I had actually lost another .3 yesterday so was a tad peeved when I got up this morning and found it back again. I said to myself that I'll make it up, I said that I will just lose less next week so it's ok, but I put the right amount. I think if I'm not honest with myself and the program then I'll start fudging things somewhere else. I'm good at fudging things and can bullshit my way out of an awkward situation. I inherited my dad (and my sister's) incredible ability to lie well, even to myself! But I'm not doing that now as it's what get's me into trouble. I also found that if I am honest with myself and own where I have slipped then I can get back into it easier. I found it really hard to admit that I had put on again before the second round of rapid loss, this round. But once I said 'hey this is my situation' I had support again and I knew I had made the right decision.
I had my appointment with the exercise physiologist at the gym yesterday. Again I impressed myself (sorry I sound really up myself and I'm really not!) This was good for me though. I had to have a blood test for my warfarin levels which had to be done before Paul left for work at 10 as I still can't drive. But I knew that I'm not allowed to do heavy lifting after these tests or strenuous exercise. Which posed the problem, I can't do a workout at the gym while I'm there. Soooo, I went beforehand for my workout, at 8am while Paul was taking the kids. Then I had my blood test, then I went back to be shown my new exercises by the physiologist. It was a shame that I couldn't do them but I didn't feel like I didn't benefit and didn't feel like I didn't get any exercise in. And, as I hoped I would, I felt so much better after my second workout. Heaps of energy, not exhausted and almost falling down when I got home, and the happy endorphins were working big time!
I had a friend come and visit this week. She had started the program after reading my blog (thanks for the encouragement!) and, as she explained to me yesterday, had become complacent, thinking that she could have a little bit of this or a little bit of that. And as we all know, you can't. On some weight loss programs you can of course but if you have a lot to lose it can be very disheartening to lose so slowly that it can take months before you see any differences, often making people give up. Starting at over 100 kilos I can't tell you how many times I'd start something and lose 5 kilos, which was fantastic. But that would take me a couple of months, I'd feel depressed because 5 kilos is great but I didn't look any different. I'd have a binge, beat myself up more, binge more and put it all back on and often more. I know shakes aren't for everybody and I know losing weight fast isn't for everybody but for some it works. It really is as good as it sounds and literally within weeks I looked different. I think I lost my first 10 kilos in the first 3 weeks! Of course it does slow down but there's no reason why you can't lose at least a kilo a week if you're doing the program, and I did that before I had started exercising. Now I'm on stage 3 and enjoying more varied meals, having the odd treat or two. I'm still losing pretty well but if I was losing half a kilo each week I'd be ok with that too because I know why I've slowed down. But I don't have much to lose so it's a whole different kettle of fish. I'm happy that I will look good for summer, already do really (even if I do say so myself!) From the start of this second journey to today's weigh in I am half way. I have lost 3.7 kilos and have 3.7 kilos to go until goal. I'm pretty stoked with that.
As I said to my friend, it really comes down to one thing. Do you want it? If your heart's not in it then what's the point. If you're saying 'oh I'll miss eating ..... or drinking ......' then you're already mourning the things you want now, and you haven't even started! (This isn't directed at my friend by the way, just to those of you in general who are saying they want to lose weight but can't because of .....)
Some of the things I've said (and heard) in the past are :
If I can factor in my pizza once a week and my bacon and eggs and my treat at art class then I'll be much happier! Really? And I wonder why I didn't lose weight before! I can have these things, in moderation now and, in conjunction with the program I am still losing weight. I am making much healthier choices and just not doing it all the time. My downfall has always been excess. Excessive drinking, excessive smoking, and last but not least excessive eating. And you can't just give up eating, you have to do it!
I have to cook food for my family and I love what I cook and want to eat it. Suck it up buttercup! Once I've cooked chips and gotten through a meal with smelling it and wanting it, especially with bread and butter, I can do it again. I liken it to the first boozy night after giving up the fags. Once it's been done once it can be done again. I can even drive through McDonalds to order meals for the kids now and not get anything.
I love takeaway and if the family are having it I want it too. Hide. Hide in the bedroom if it's a nice smelly one such as butter chicken (my favourite). Or go for a walk. (I wont tell you to not let them get takeaway when you're trying to lose weight. I don't think it's fair to make your family go without all the time just because you've made a lifestyle choice and you have to cope with things sometimes). Or choose a healthy alternative. Indian restaurants often have that lovely little chopped salad called kachumber. Having that with an entrée of some sort of chicken is a good alternative. Thai has fresh spring rolls, really healthy. Fish and chips even have alternatives. Grilled fish and be prepared with a salad. Once we could have a wrap, my daughter and I would share a souvlaki. Not a fantastic choice but not too bad I thought. I quite enjoy the challenge of choosing healthy on a menu rather than go for the good old favourites such as chicken parma or butter chicken. When going against the grain you often find things that you never would have looked at.
I can't do without my coffee forever. It's not forever. If you look at the challenge it's really 16 weeks. Only the first few weeks is really strict in stage 1. Stage 2 does goes for a while but you get the results. And stage 3 is the exciting time, the stage I'm in. I can make the choices that I want but carefully and with planning. I have a coffee in the morning and will drink decaf or tea (and lots of water) the rest of the time. As with everything, it's limited for a reason and it works.
I can't eat different things from my family, it's too hard and expensive. Well the shakes are the cheapest meal that I've ever had. Even at full price they work out to be about $2 per serve and I often buy them on special somewhere. This means that if I am cooking a different meal for the kids (and I do try and cook similar usually) I can buy really nice cuts of meat or as a special treat some prawns or scallops. It's easy to eat healthy when you have yummy ingredients. I have even started to cook the meals for my kids with mixed opinions. The stir fry is easy, the veggies taste like the sauce in a stir fry and my kids will happily eat them. I just add rice for them and have mine without. Easy meal, good way of getting kids veggies in.
I can't stand the thought of drinking shakes all the time.
I thought this would be a hard one too but no joke, they are delicious. There's not a time where I dread having my shake as I really enjoy them. The bonus of the latte one is that I get a coffee taste fix in there too. They are full of vitamins and they really do take the cravings away.
So, when it comes down to it, the real question is, do you want it? Do you really want to change the you that you are now? If you do then it's time to do it. As I've said a lot, there aren't many things that we have control of in our lives. Our weight is one of those things. If you really want to lose weight then do it. Support is fantastic if you can get it. I have been lucky to have a very supportive family for the most part. Even though as we speak my husband is cooking up a bacon sandwich. Behind me! But mainly he is great, as are my kids. I get lots of forum support from the rapid loss team and other contestants and my friends have been wonderful. And of course my readers, you have all been so encouraging and have spurred me on so much. If you keep doing what you have always done you will keep getting what you've always got. It's that simple.
So, now for the photos. Again not sure if much difference but not expecting heaps at this stage. The green candle is this week, the red candle is last week. Here goes. I don't see much difference with the side on shots but I think I look a little thinner in the front shot, not quite so rounded in areas.