Update

ok so the update is that the Rapid Challenge has been extended until July now. While this was disappointing that we won't find out about Fiji until then, the exciting thing is that there was 6 of us who received $1000 for our effort so far in losing the weight and keeping it off! So I know that I've done well and been noticed!

I went shopping with my gorgeous friend Jess today. She has good taste in clothes and has gotten me addicted to Dangerfield. It's rather expensive so she took me to their clearance warehouse today. Here's what I bought! I don't normally buy designer clothes but I love their styles so much. I got all of these for $180 including some pyjamas for my oldest daughter, a bag, some knickers for her and a makeup bag with a Herman Munster print!

Links

ok I know that I said last week was my last post but I wanted to share the link to my slideshow and really crappy song that I'm singing! The song itself is quite good, it's just my singing that is questionable. Sung to a karaoke version of The Longest Time, I did like the wo oh oh oh's in the background! I was originally changing the words to Hey Jude but that sounded even more woeful than this one! I saved it to dropbox because I had no idea how else to share it and my mammoth slideshow. I even called tech support and they advised me to do it that way.

So here goes, hope you can see/hear my attempts at it anyway! 

https://www.dropbox.com/s/f7eqia8jfnmyo71/2016-02-10-15_22_02.ogg?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/lq1010wmki7yckf/power%20point%20presentation.odp?dl=0

Goal!

I'm pretty stoked. I reached goal a few days ago, then wavered up and down a little and finally hit goal 2 days in a row. I have been doing a little slideshow to send to Rapid Loss of all my photos and realised that I haven't done any in ages. As my weight hasn't changed that much since the last I didn't think there'd be much difference but because I've been going to the gym so often I think there really is. Bridie even said that my tummy looked really toned. So I'll put my very first photo, my last one taken and the ones taken today.

So now I'm 75 kilos. 30 kilos down. I am so happy at this weight. I don't want to get any thinner really because I just can't maintain it. So I shall put a before and after shot on here, side and front, and then I'm done! If I here anything about the competition I'll write it on here, and if not, I've won anyway. I feel fabulous, I have a whole new lease on life now. Thanks so much everybody for reading and cheering me on, it really has meant the world to me. Having so much support has not only been fantastic for my ego but it's egged me on to complete what I started a year ago. And hopefully has shown people that despite many odds, and many kilos to lose, that it can be done. I love youse all!

 

 

Toning up

Hi fans and air conditioners! Hehe a little throwback to school days there... (Yes Chris that was for you!) I haven't been on here for ages, mainly because I haven't lost any more weight since last time so I have no progress pictures to take. School holidays threw so much out the window, which is funny considering it was this time last year that I had started my challenge and been on it a couple of weeks.

Amazing the difference a year makes! What a huge year I've had. I realised that I had been on Rapid Loss for a year; not only because I did remember starting in the school holidays but because my facebook memory told me so that made it true. Posts from my blog shares came up in my memories and it was actually really nice to look back at them and see how far I've come. Long before a tumour was even mentioned to me, back when I had started due to such a shitty year before of the deaths of my dad and my aunty (and our cat, our neighbour and an old friend; in that order.) Back when I wanted to control something in my out of control life. I am so looking forward to seeing how this year pans out, health wise, work and study wise, kids wise. My oldest is doing a cooking course for vcal at her school, my middle is going into year 8 and my youngest is going into year 6. Thanks to hormones and (unspoken) fear of high school next year I think we're in for a big year with her. The positives are; back to study, hopefully get a part time job, finding out if any of my lovely forum buddies are in the finalists of our challenge and a day trip to the city for the family to see Sound of Music in May. I'm rather excited about that one! My 14 year old is looking forward to going, he's not looking forward to the obligatory cd buy of the songs that we will play over and over again, singing at the top of our voices. I think Mary Poppins scarred him....

I know this isn't for everybody and great, if you're not wanting to read about my journey then that's fine. No doubt if you don't you wont be reading this anyway. I'm doing it for those who have encouraged me along the way and those who get where I'm coming from and the horrid battle that we have with ourselves every day, when we look in the mirror, when we put food in our mouths that we know isn't good for us but we do it anyway. When we watch Biggest Loser and, at the beginning tell ourselves that at least we're not that big so we don't have issues. When we watch the finale with a bowl of icecream saying that of couse they can lose weight, they've been in a house with trainers and not real life. And get more depressed because it's not us. I get all of that because I've been there/done that. Just because I've lost the weight doesn't mean I don't still feel like that, that I don't have to consciously watch what I do ALL the time. Because it will always be something I have to watch. I love food, especially the crappy stuff. I love pizza. I love chocolate. I love bacon. I love Indian and Chinese and pancakes and chocolate chip hot cross buns. But I can have some of these now if I plan for it. And exercise regularly. So I apologize if I'm OTT about this but hey that's me. Look away if you don't want to know about it.

Anyway... although no more weight has been lost (I'm still half a kilo away from goal) I have shown myself that if eating sensibly most of the time and exercising frequently I can keep at a steady weight and not put the weight back on. Of course if you are wanting to lose weight that wont work, but maintenance is when you can put all you have learnt into practice and dip your foot back in to the world of food that we as humans have created. And it's not the best world either I have discovered. Packet mixes, additives, easy meals, no wonder we have ballooned as a nation with all the shit that goes into our food that we don't really know about. Not that I don't use that stuff anymore, I am just mindful of balance for myself and my family. I had gotten into the habit (especially in the dreaded 2014) of 'if it's easy it'll do' as I couldn't be bothered feeding myself, let alone my family. Not properly anyway. Now my kids are older they've got into cooking a little bit. My son made a Japanese raw tuna dish on Sunday for dinner and it was delicious! I was so surprised as his version of cooking was omelette over and over and over again. Suddenly he came up with the idea and he did such a good job. My youngest is more into baking but my oldest, doing a cooking class, will hopefully add to her range of foods she eats and maybe even cooks for us.

The main thing I've kept up these holidays is going to the gym. My kids are at a good age that I can leave them at home for an hour while I go. Mainly though I go first thing in the morning. And by first thing I mean at 6.15am. I have realised that I really enjoy it, something I thought I never would. It's hard to believe that I only really started in November. I had been a couple of years ago but not like this. I'm upping the intensity, doing high interval intensity training. This means short bursts of running at high speeds (for me) much heavier weights but less reps and faster periods on the cross trainer, bike and rowing machine. I make myself go some mornings, such as today. I didn't want to go, I had nobody to go with and I haven't sorted my music out on my phone yet so I knew it would be boring. I didn't feel the best thanks to a revolting pizza I ate last night for my son's birthday choice. It was good to realise that though, that it was my own choices that made me feel sluggish and as always I worked through it, so glad I had been and feeling so much better for it. I wrote a list about why I know I love the gym now, for the rapid loss forum so I'll share it with you. I'll also share the photo of me 'flexing my muscles' for Bridie in my new dress. Today I could actually see them flexing mind you so I might have to do another! I've also added my very first photo, one I thought I had lost but in my panic asked if Rapid Loss still had it. And the lovely Amal sent it to me to ease my panic of not qualifying for the comp if I didn't have it. Here's the list :

1) I have callouses on my hands since I’ve upped my weights. And I like them….

2) When running on the treadmill this morning I finally realised why people put their towels over the display. I was spraying droplets of sweat

 3) It’s my son’s birthday so I went really early before he would wake up so I didn’t miss any of it. In the olden days I wouldn’t have bothered because – you guessed it – it was my son’s birthday! In fact what the hell, it’s his birthday this week so we’ll be celebrating all week so can’t go then. And will restart next week. (Still the old me talking)

 4) I know some other gym members by names that I only know from the gym

 5) I know the staff members names. And (even more exciting) they know mine! (I have a little fantasy dialogue going in my head that each time I come in they look at me in wonder at how often I come and that I’m an inspiration to other grey haired and (used to be) bigger ladies.

 6) My legs feel like led and I shake as I walk home. And it feels fantastic!

 7) I look at the classes list and consider when I can fit them in, instead of thinking that they’re for fitter, more experienced gym junkies

 8) I embrace my exhaustion when it’s from the gym because I know I deserve it

 9) I know when I have something big on that I am best to go to the gym as it gives me energy for the day ahead (go figure, that sounds bizarre even as I write it, but it’s true!)

 10) I know that when I am sore (in a good ‘I’ve worked out’ way, going to the gym will not compound that soreness but ease it if I work through it. I just figured that one out this morning! Last week I didn’t go for a few days and I was sore all week, ending up stiff. This morning I was really sore but feel pretty good now after going to the gym.

11) I just got my new intimo order and out of the 3 things I received the first one I tried on was my new high impact sports bra! It’s perfect! (PS I just wore this to the gym and I can really notice the difference when running, it's fabulous!)

 

 

4th December - nearly there

Well this will be one of my last posts I think. I'm nearly at goal. I will write a post when I get to goal and I will write a post if I get to the finals of the Rapid Loss challenge which I will know hopefully in March. There are lots and lots of worthy contestants. My husband says I always get over excited about things, getting my hopes up. But you have to aim for something and if you don't think you're in with a chance, what's your motivation? I know it's probably not going to happen but what's the worst case scenario? I'll have lost 30 kilos and feel fabulous!

What a huge year I've had this year. Right at the beginning I decided to do the challenge because everything seemed out of control since my father's passing last year. I remember thinking that this is something that I can control at least. I needed to feel positive about something, about myself and thanks to the staff and forum members of rapid loss (and of course to myself) I am amazed at the change in mindset. I started it in the summer holidays, a challenge in itself, and seem to be finishing it in the summer holidays.

Of course in between I had that pesky brain tumour to get rid of! Discovering that 10 weeks into my challenge really threw me of course but I think I have come out of it healthier and with no visible side effects because I was well on my way to a healthy weight then.

I have been going to the gym religiously. And (seriously) I love it! Going with friends is great, going alone is fine too, gives me a chance to get stuck into it. I try to go early in the morning so that it's out of the way with. I'm not sure that I'll ever be a big lover of exercise. I'd like to think so though. I'm not good in outside weather, if it's too hot or too cold or too wet I've always made an excuse not to take the pooches for a walk. And I shudder when I see the sand workouts on the Biggest Loser! The gym is perfect for me. Not many are there when I go which I like too. I can watch a bit of telly, bop along to the music in the background and know exactly what I'm doing and how to increase my own workout. And (for the time being) I can claim it on my extras insurance as my doctor filled in a form saying it's beneficial to my rehab. Incidentally, this can also be filled in if you have an obesity problem, $150 per year can be claimed on gym membership or other weight loss programs. I've been upping my running this week. Amazing for those who know me, I don't bloody run! 5 minutes in total, 1 minute running, 1 minute breathlessly walking for 10 or 12 minutes. And I LOVE it! I feel so proud of myself. It's so nice to sweat because I'm earning it instead of because of this stupid menopause.

So lastly for the photos. I've probably lost 2 kilos since taking the last ones but I don't think I look much different, except for maybe the bumpy bits above my bather bottoms. And that may be because I've got them hitched up higher! The one with the plant is this week, the last one is a month ago. I think maybe my leg looks a little thinner in the side one. The reality is though that I only have 0.7 kilos to go to goal so except for toning up I'm not going to look any different.

 Sadly I still look at myself and think I've got heaps to go. I need to keep reminding myself how far I've come. I've gotten down to 70 before (my goal this time is 75) and looked great but just couldn't maintain it. So I binged and next thing I'm 35 kilos heavier. And even when at that weight I then started to look at other things I didn't like about myself. We're our own worst enemy! Most of the time I like what I see now. I wear lots of nice clothes that haven't fit me forever. My kids can get their arms around me when they cuddle me. I'm at a healthy bmi and at the top of my healthy weight range. And I am now at the stage where (as long as it's not every day and all the time) I am able to have treats here and there. I don't even feel as though I've been limited in the last few weeks as I've had lots of social occasions. For the most part I've made wise food choices but I'll admit there's been a few that have just been out and out bad (but so, so good!) On the other days though I've had my shakes, lots of water and done my exercise. I'm not going to become complacent. Those foods are what got me into this trouble in the first place. They're not my friend. But I don't want them to be my enemy either. It's unrealistic to say that I'll give everything up. So it's balancing time. Balancing being a good girl for the majority of the time. And balancing between being judgemental of how I look at actually saying that I look good just the way I am. It's a work in progress!

Have a wonderful Christmas everybody! Roll on 2016. Shitty as 2015 was I'm still alive and feeling good. I have big plans for my 50th year next year! Woohoo, bring it on!

 

 

 

 

Lost 0.2 kilos

 Soooo, nothing to report really this week. I've had a slow couple of weeks. I've only lost 0.2 kilos. I've had a shocker headache/migraine for most of the week. I still managed to go to the gym twice in that time, having medication then going straight after, but I haven't kept up my walks and since going to the doctors and hospital for my head I haven't done anything physical.

Such a bugger, I am really enjoying the gym. I have given myself until Sunday to rest. We are having a party on Saturday which I shall enjoy so we have a few things to do to get ready for that too. Once that is done and dusted I can get back to my fabulous transformation!

I have proved before that I didn't have to exercise to lose weight so I don't think it's my one missed gym session that has contributed to the low weight gain. I have had a couple of extras in my food this week. I have also been extremely constipated (sorry about that!) which obviously doesn't help. And I've been taking nurofen which retains weight. But I'm not stressing at all. I'm close to my goal weight so I'm going to slow down anyway. And I'm quite liking not being as obsessed with my weight as I once was. I have 2.4 kilos left to lose so if I hover around this weight I'm pretty happy with that. I'll be happier if I hover around my 75 kilo goal but it will come. I'm still eating sensibly, just not by the hard and fast rules anymore. So for example, yesterday I had a shake for breakfast and a shake for lunch. For dinner though I had salt and pepper calamari (scraping around for what was in the freezer) which is crumbed. And cooked in the oven with a little oil to stop it from sticking. I added to this onion and mushroom cooked in a little oil. And the rest was salad - baby spinach, tomatoes, avocado, grated carrot.   So the oil and the crumb isn't in the guidelines of suggested meals but I'm at the stage now where I am testing the waters with my choices and in the 'real world' that's a pretty healthy meal I think.  And a yummy one too!

My photos don't look any different this week but as it's what I do then I'll do it. I'm expecting more toning soon, then I'll probably stop for a while as they will all be the same! Again, the one on the left, with the red candle is this week and the other one is last week.  I will of course share photos when I'm a bit more buff, and I'll share the news if I get selected to go to the finals in Fiji! So I'm thinking you'll have the pleasure of my company for a few more weeks, I'll keep writing til I get to goal. Then it's time to maintain and go it alone! I get so much support from people on the Rapid Loss forum, they're just so wonderful as they 'get' it and are going through it themselves. So I'll stay on there for my support but also to support others, to show that it can be done. I've lost nearly 30 kilos woo bloody hoo!

October 30, .3 kilos lost

Sooo, I am now at 77.6 kilos. I lost 0.3 this week. I am happy with that as I had a very social week. Much of the week I was eating as though I was at maintenance, making wise food choices with what was on offer.

 

This included  Japanese pancakes at the school fete and a teriyaki chicken wrap at Subway. I have found that a nice filling lunch on these lovely sunny days is mountain bread with lots of salady fillings. We have this when I catch up with friends and this is what I chose for my subway dinner too. Lots of baby spinach, grated carrot, avocado, tomato, sometimes onion. Chicken when it's there, if not I will have cheese. And a dip smeared on for some extra flavour. It's yummy and quite filling.

 

So, not much to report this week. I think I'm at the stage when I'm toning and finishing off what I started at the beginning of the year. I only have 2.6 kilos to go until I reach my goal weight so I'm not expecting big numbers at the moment. So as I said, happy with what I lost this week. I'm going to the gym every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday and walking the dogs every night. My Bethie is loving this too which is great for her as, like me, she normally hates exercise.

 

My photos this week I wasn't expecting much difference but I think the bumpy bits on my hips are going down a bit. They wont go completely because I'm not getting down to a ridiculously skinny weight for me. I'm gonna be bumpy, that's the way I am. The first one is today with the bottle on the toilet, the one with the jar was last week. My last photo is my most exciting I think. It shows the ribbon that I fitted around my waist last year at my body image group. All of our members did this. I don't do measuring. I don't really get when people say how many cms they've lost, I'm a very visual person so to me, seeing it means so much more than hearing it. I was shocked when I saw how far out it came, a bit like when you see the people on the Biggest Loser hold up their big pants that they used to wear. I had my daughter take the photo after I had been to the gym yesterday morning. Have a great week everybody!