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Thursday, 3 December 2015

4th December - nearly there

Well this will be one of my last posts I think. I'm nearly at goal. I will write a post when I get to goal and I will write a post if I get to the finals of the Rapid Loss challenge which I will know hopefully in March. There are lots and lots of worthy contestants. My husband says I always get over excited about things, getting my hopes up. But you have to aim for something and if you don't think you're in with a chance, what's your motivation? I know it's probably not going to happen but what's the worst case scenario? I'll have lost 30 kilos and feel fabulous!

What a huge year I've had this year. Right at the beginning I decided to do the challenge because everything seemed out of control since my father's passing last year. I remember thinking that this is something that I can control at least. I needed to feel positive about something, about myself and thanks to the staff and forum members of rapid loss (and of course to myself) I am amazed at the change in mindset. I started it in the summer holidays, a challenge in itself, and seem to be finishing it in the summer holidays.

Of course in between I had that pesky brain tumour to get rid of! Discovering that 10 weeks into my challenge really threw me of course but I think I have come out of it healthier and with no visible side effects because I was well on my way to a healthy weight then.

I have been going to the gym religiously. And (seriously) I love it! Going with friends is great, going alone is fine too, gives me a chance to get stuck into it. I try to go early in the morning so that it's out of the way with. I'm not sure that I'll ever be a big lover of exercise. I'd like to think so though. I'm not good in outside weather, if it's too hot or too cold or too wet I've always made an excuse not to take the pooches for a walk. And I shudder when I see the sand workouts on the Biggest Loser! The gym is perfect for me. Not many are there when I go which I like too. I can watch a bit of telly, bop along to the music in the background and know exactly what I'm doing and how to increase my own workout. And (for the time being) I can claim it on my extras insurance as my doctor filled in a form saying it's beneficial to my rehab. Incidentally, this can also be filled in if you have an obesity problem, $150 per year can be claimed on gym membership or other weight loss programs. I've been upping my running this week. Amazing for those who know me, I don't bloody run! 5 minutes in total, 1 minute running, 1 minute breathlessly walking for 10 or 12 minutes. And I LOVE it! I feel so proud of myself. It's so nice to sweat because I'm earning it instead of because of this stupid menopause.

So lastly for the photos. I've probably lost 2 kilos since taking the last ones but I don't think I look much different, except for maybe the bumpy bits above my bather bottoms. And that may be because I've got them hitched up higher! The one with the plant is this week, the last one is a month ago. I think maybe my leg looks a little thinner in the side one. The reality is though that I only have 0.7 kilos to go to goal so except for toning up I'm not going to look any different.

 Sadly I still look at myself and think I've got heaps to go. I need to keep reminding myself how far I've come. I've gotten down to 70 before (my goal this time is 75) and looked great but just couldn't maintain it. So I binged and next thing I'm 35 kilos heavier. And even when at that weight I then started to look at other things I didn't like about myself. We're our own worst enemy! Most of the time I like what I see now. I wear lots of nice clothes that haven't fit me forever. My kids can get their arms around me when they cuddle me. I'm at a healthy bmi and at the top of my healthy weight range. And I am now at the stage where (as long as it's not every day and all the time) I am able to have treats here and there. I don't even feel as though I've been limited in the last few weeks as I've had lots of social occasions. For the most part I've made wise food choices but I'll admit there's been a few that have just been out and out bad (but so, so good!) On the other days though I've had my shakes, lots of water and done my exercise. I'm not going to become complacent. Those foods are what got me into this trouble in the first place. They're not my friend. But I don't want them to be my enemy either. It's unrealistic to say that I'll give everything up. So it's balancing time. Balancing being a good girl for the majority of the time. And balancing between being judgemental of how I look at actually saying that I look good just the way I am. It's a work in progress!

Have a wonderful Christmas everybody! Roll on 2016. Shitty as 2015 was I'm still alive and feeling good. I have big plans for my 50th year next year! Woohoo, bring it on!





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