93.9 - 1 kgs down this week with 2 days to go!

Hi everybody! As you can see I'm pretty stoked about my loss so far this week. I've had a good week, much the same as others I guess but getting back in to the school routine and making sure that I'm prepared for most occasions. I haven't had many social occasions, there has been a couple but they've been saying no to snacks rather than having to substitute meals so that's been ok.
I had some lovely comments during the week which spurs me on to do even better. I was wearing my workout clothes and was doing pickup. One of the lovely mums who I am friends with told me how skinny I looked. I went in to do my usual half time wee and to fill up my drink bottle and I looked closely in the mirror, realising that she's right. Not skinny in the true sense of the word but skinnier than I certainly had looked. Because I wear flowy style dresses normally she hadn't noticed it before. Which made me get to thinking, others on the forum were talking about how loose their clothes were getting and how they could get into the next size down but I wear the loose fitting dresses that will fit you no matter what. I went home and tried on a dress that had been in my wardrobe for 2 years since I bought it online. I had been so disappointed that it hadn't fitted me as I loved it. I tried it on last week and it was still too rounded on my tummy, but this week it looked pretty good! Still a bit tight but it has a nice pattern on it so it's more forgiving that I thought. The boobie (that ones for you Antje!) holders are ridiculous though, no bloody room at all. I did contemplate going without a bra but I think the girls would have fallen out! As the day went on it seemed to get worse. Here's a photo. It's a bit dark but you can get the picture hopefully.

 

 

I was trying to think of something different that I could have on days when the rest of the family gets takeaway. I've been used to having a break from cooking on those days or when Paul cooks on the weekends but as was pointed out on the forum, I have to watch things such as too much sodium so that cuts out the Asian style easy meal soups. I shall make up a soup base this week that is in the recipe book and freeze portions so that I can make an occasional soup instead of the usual meats and veggies. Last night I made up a tuna salad instead which really only took me a few minutes. I snuck off to the bedroom to eat it while all the others ate their pizza! While de-cluttering I came across a lovely bowl that I never really knew what to do with before so I decided that it shall be my bowl alone for my healthy foods. I think that presentation is important with all foods and I was happy with how it looked. It's a rather pretty bowl even if I do say so myself!

 



94.4 kilos

I've lost half a kilo so far since Tuesday so I'm hoping that means I'm in for a good week. I've almost cut coffee out completely, not even having one in the mornings now. I usually have one when I get home from dropping the kids off but it's now a decaf. Sometimes I have one when watching Bold and the Beautiful but, like last night, I had to leave to pick kids up so didn't want to have to wee while I was out so didn't have a coffee at all. And still needed to wee! So as far as consumption is concerned I'm all good.
I had a stir fry last night. It was so yummy! I did add bok choy in which isn't in the program but I think it will be ok, it is still a veggie. I didn't realise you could have garlic until I saw somebody ask about it so I used lots of that last night, along with my 1 tablespoons of kecap manis which is a lite soy sauce. I don't think I even used that much. I did it in my trusty thermomix with chicken, onion, tomato, mushroom and the bok choy. It was quite saucy, probably because of the juice of the tomato, and really delicious. I wont do it all the time, I want to stay on stage 1 as much as I can and the sauce is on stage 2, but I've still lost well. I had my steamed fish with veggies and balsamic the night before and I think the secret is to mix it up, by the end of last night's meal I was so over it! So now I've got another alternative I'm really happy with. I'm not really missing anything to tell you the truth. The shakes seem to take care of any cravings I may have had, even my coffee. The latter is probably aided by the fact that I have a latte shake in the morning.
I have made the big mistake of weighing myself naked. It's amazing how heavy a nightee can be! When coming back from my weekend away I weighed myself on the Monday morning before my shower then again after. It was a .3 kg difference! Just to make sure my scales weren't playing up I've done it again and yes it still reads like that. So of course I'm taking the after shower weight! But that's ok, each loss I have is done the same way now so I know it's definitely a downward direction. Lucky I'm not in the Biggest Loser, I'm ok with undies shots but I draw the line at nudie rudie ones! Then again, I'll do anything for a win.......

End of week 4 weigh in - 94.9 kgs

Well I'm officially under 95 kilos which is very exciting! I'm so pleased with myself, I still lost .9 kilos this week even though I went away for the weekend. It's proved to me that I can do both, have a social life (and a whole weekend is a biggie) without putting on weight, at least not a substantial amount. I lost that by the next day and more today and if I had only been weighing in weekly as I should then I wouldn't have known about the rise and fall of my weight. I've lost 10.1 kilos now. I'm stoked.
I've been to the dentist today. I've decided that it's time to bite the bullet and get my teeth sorted out. I have been petrified of going to the dentist ever since I can remember. Of course each time I go I know that it's not as bad as it was when I was a kid. I went to a local lady and she was just lovely. The plan is, half cleaned today (and numbed because of sensitive gums and extreme fear), half cleaned at next appointment in a fortnight and some fillings done at the same time. Then I have an appointment to see about getting a plate to pull my top front teeth into alignment. Then I shall have them whitened. My teeth have been what has made me self-conscious all of my life. I hide my teeth if I am laughing when I remember, they are a yucky colour thanks to smoking and drinking crap for years. If I'm going to have a new body I want the teeth to go with it. To feel confident as I continue studying then going on to work. And when I'm a famous writer, I don't want the critics to be talking about my teeth all the time! Here's my photos for this week. I'll go this week as first post, then last week next to it. So bathroom is this week, painting is last week. I can see a difference, I hope you can too!

 

 

 

 

 

Weekend with the girls 95.4

I've been away in Mornington with some of my autism support group. What a lovely weekend it was! Three of us went down on Friday night and two others met us down there on Saturday. I had a plan in mind and I pretty much stuck with it which I was really pleased with. There were things I ate that weren't on the Rapid Loss plan at all but they were healthy choices.
We got down there quite late on the Friday as far as dinner was concerned, by late for dinner I mean after 8pm. Thanks to my directions and missing turnoffs due to too much talking and hilarity we got lost at one point while picking up one of the girls! We made it though and what a beautiful place it was to stay in. It's called Nelson Cottage and I can highly recommend it.
We got down to the main street to walk and suss out what was available. I'm really conscious of trying not to push what I can have on to others, it's my journey and not their responsibility so I tried to say I'd adapt to where we went, with the exception of places like noodle bars which wouldn't have any choices that would be suitable. We ended up at a Chinese/Thai place and I opted for the omelette. It was lovely but huge and very salty. It was one of those things that as I started eating it (I was ravenous after 2 shakes and fruit for the day) I was in love with it, but half way through I knew I had had enough. Maybe my tastebuds are recognising sodium overload? I didn't have the oyster sauce on it which I was glad of. The other girls got meals to share, I half wished I had had just chicken and veggies done in sauce but I was thinking there would be less sauce/salt in an omelette, in hindsight maybe not. Anyway, I only ate half and I was pleased with my realisation that I could a) recognise when I was full or had had enough and b) that I could get over my 'I've paid for it, I have to eat it all attitude.'
Saturday we went to the Red Hill market which was fabulous. The only problem was that the food all smelt amazing and by all accounts tasted amazing. I had my shake before I went and had an apple. It still didn't cut it with all the lovely smells. On a normal day I'd be driving to school and back in that time, coming home to a house that didn't smell delicious, and getting on with my day. But they had paella and homemade breakfast souvlaki type things that the other girls had and I wanted one so badly! I had nothing though, just sipped my water as I nearly ran past these areas! We took some fresh things home for lunch, I picked up some mountain bread wraps and had them with grated carrot, tomatoes and a basil dip which was lovely, with fresh berries for afters. Dinner I was pretty happy with my choice too. I purposely chose something that I knew wasn't on the RL program, they had Greek salads with chicken, prawns or lamb and I chose the lamb. There has been no red meat on the program at all but it was chargrilled and it was lean so I thought as I was away it was a good 'naughty' choice. I also had tzatziki on it which made it even more delicious. Sunday breakfast was poached eggs on toast with spinach, tomatoes and some other things, can't remember what, but all healthy. I am a fussy old bugger and was disappointed that my eggs weren't runny at all and told the waiter this (much to the embarrassment of my friends I think) but it did say 'soft poached eggs!' Still I ate it up. And it was still delicious. Because it was a good sized meal I decided that that would be my meal of the day, especially as it had veggies in it. Oh and I had a naughty but yummy cappuccino too.
If I was doing weight watchers still there would be nothing wrong with what I ate on the weekend. I don't think it did any harm at all, even though the scales showed a slight increase of .3 kilos. In the old days it would have been more like an extra 1 or 2 kilos as I would have said stuff it and eaten whatever the hell I wanted. I'm not only happy with my meal choices but I'm happy with the things I decided not to have. No choccies or sweet things whatsoever, even though there was a box of Lindt given to us by the hosts, no drinks at meal times other than water, except for Sunday breakfast. No snacking other than my fruits. And no yummy stuff at the markets! So I did it!

Back on the downwards track - 95.2 kgs

Still nearly at the elusive 10, no reasons not to now, not taking nurofen, drinking decaf coffee and decaf green tea and bought new scales. So all good. Just have to get into exercising more and I'll be great!
I had an interesting day yesterday. I had been to a clinic called MAPRC which specialises in menopause, hormones and depression. I went last year after a 4 month wait. It's free to get in to because it's a research centre and they do trials, it's run by the Alfred hospital. Anyway, it was an awkward time as it was just two weeks after my dad had died and the questionnaire that I had to fill out as pertaining to how I had felt in the prior two weeks. I explained my situation and said I'd have to answer as if it were six weeks beforehand. I was on an anti depressant at the time, I had been off HRT for 6 months, I had the sweats still which were being somewhat controlled by a blood pressure medication. I agreed to start a blind trial of tibolone, said to be a newer version of HRT without all of the nasty side effects, and safe to be on for about 10 years if successful. It sounded wonderful so off I went, receiving my three months worth in the mail. And it didn't do anything. After a month and a half I asked in my weekly review calls if I could be unblinded, that it wasn't doing anything and for some reason my sweats were even worse. I would say now that it had more to do with my stress levels that anything else. Anyway, it seemed I was getting the placebo which was a bugger. I also had a hormone blood test done which shows which anti depressants are ok for your body and hormones as I was still concerned about how heavy I was.
We agreed that I would wean off of the one I was on, have a three week turnaround where I would be covered by diazepam, then go on to the next one. The problem I had was that one of the reasons I had gone on this particular one in the first place was because of insomnia and during my weaning off that had already returned. Other than that though, when I went back to the doctors, I felt fantastic. I got the new script, stupidly filled it, took one tablet, and went home and checked the side effects. And found that insomnia was the main side effect! I also had an incredibly dry mouth, something that was listed as another. I decided then that as I had to go back to MAPRC anyway, I would hold off taking any more as other than not sleeping properly I was feeling much better mentally. Not as angry as I had done and calmer. And I still had diazepam and the new medication if I really felt I wasn't coping.
The Professor at the clinic yesterday listened as I told her what had been going on. They're amazing because they are coming up with breakthroughs that aren't known yet in the medical world. She said that there is something called (and don't quote me on the wording here) Menopause induced depression, that can start to occur up to five years before peri menopausal symptoms start to appear. If you are treated with anti depressants for this it helps the symptoms, but can make your anger and rages much, much worse! If put onto the correct type of HRT then the treatment will work much better. She noticed that even as we talked I was slightly sweating. I told her how I had been losing weight, how I had had a lull last week and as I don't have a proper cycle as such, couldn't tell if it was to do with hormones or not. She suggested going on the tibolone for real, it is calming, it evens out your changes hormonally and will help me sleep better. She also gave me a script for a different type of melatonin, perfectly natural, but one that is specifically for menopausal women and works to regulate your sleeping patterns. So I left there feeling like I had reasons for the way I've been feeling for so long.
As usual, having quite a low self esteem (yes it's true), I blamed myself for being a shit mum/wife, just as when I feel ill I blame myself for letting myself get so out of shape. I've been off the antis for a few months now, and I've felt much nicer, much calmer, so hopefully the Tibolone will enhance that, I know she said it will give me more energy which I don't have at all. Of course doing the Rapid Loss has pumped me up, feeling better, lots of good stuff in the shakes, and doing the blog, feeding my ego/fame desire!
And I'd like to add, I was really bloody good all day even though I was out for the whole day. I made my shake for lunch and put the shaker in one of those insulated bags, making sure I took it inside with me to the clinic. I had an apple for morning tea, then my shake,  then walked around the shops in the afternoon, I had lots to do. And didn't once fancy the usual dimmy that I buy when I'm there. Or the cinnamon donuts that I favour. So a good positive day all round!

Winner winner chicken (and veggie) dinner!

How exciting. I've been out all day socialising (and being good I might add) and I've come home to look at the Rapid Loss forum to see that I've won a 6 tub of Rapid Loss prize pack and a hard copy of Ray Kelly's book! All for basically chatting and supporting others on the forum. They're all so lovely and supportive back, it's been a pleasure anyway. And it's just what we do. What a buzz!
I was feeling in a bit of a slump this morning. I had weighed in and again I had lost no weight and had no idea what was going on. I have been spot on with my food and drank lots of water. I asked on the forum about medications and nurofen is apparently something that retains weight. Coffee is also which I didn't realise so it's on to decaf and no painkillers if I can help it. Not sure if melatonin has any adverse side effects, I've had trouble sleeping since going off my anti depressants at Christmas (one of the reasons I was on them) so I've been taking some natural melatonin.
After weighing in this morning though I had a coffee and weighed again to double check and it said I had put on 1 kilo! Then again after my shower it said I weighed .2 less than the first weigh in! So after dropping the kids off I went to Big W and bought myself some new scales. I got to my friend's house and weighed in on her scales but their weighed at even more. Bit stupid really, I'd just drunk nearly 2 litres of water so I'll weigh in again tomorrow morning on both and see if there's any difference. I'm not expecting much but at least it should be consistent. While there my friends were a bad influence on me and I bought some new boots which are lovely. Lucky I won the prize pack as I can't afford to buy new boots! It's really spurred me on even more to win this challenge.
Here's my photos for this week. I'll put the new ones up the top and the first ones underneath. I didn't think I could see that much difference but I think I actually can now, how exciting! And my boobs still look fabulous which is the main thing! Even though I forgot to take off my bra strap holders.

 

 

Old photos

I was going through some old photos and thought I'd share some with you. Coz I'm a good sharer as you can probably guess now! I've done challenges before as I've said, not sure what this one was for but it was a long time ago considering I cut the bathers up in my before shots. I had painted a woman lying on the beach and did some fancy schmancy thing of sticking my old bathers on her as her bathers. I hadn't even had Bridie when I did that art class. And she's 10. I of course did the classic put my chin to my chest here. And my husband must have taken the photos, this must have been back in the day when I was ok with him seeing me half naked! I don't think I was that huge in hindsight though it's hard to tell with the quadruple chin. The after pictures are much nicer though I didn't wear undies or bathers in those shots. Here's the before one

Here's the after shots

Now here's a couple of me on my honeymoon. You'll notice that I was covering my gut in one of them because I clearly thought I looked fat in the picture. When I look back on them I was so bloody skinny. Just to show we're our own worst critics!

For some reason I have put .4 back on. I didn't drink as much water as I should have yesterday because I was in and out and didn't want to need to wee on a walk or in the Supermarket. That wouldn't have made me put weight on though. So I'm thinking it must be something to do with hormones because I seriously have done nothing wrong this week at all. I was hoping to get over 1kg but now it's down to .4 this week and I weigh in again tomorrow. At least I know I've done all I can (except I know I have to start getting serious about exercising) food wise. Hopefully it will show up next week.