Monday 30 March 2015

End of week 11. 87.3

I've lost 0.6 kgs this week. Not bad considering I've had a week where I've had lots going on. I've been very good food wise but not necessarily rapid loss program wise. So the foods I've chosen have been things like a chicken and salad wrap at the hospital but with a white wrap and some sort of sauce. Or yesterday I went to a friends and she had made me some lovely chicken with herbs and I had that in a wrap too with salad, but I also had some beetroot dip which has nuts in it. Or when the family went to McDonalds on Sunday I asked for a beef salad which was pretty ordinary and had a sauce that was probably full of sodium. Add things like a couple of skinny cappuccinos to add to my milk consumption and you get the picture. All ok stuff to have so I'm not worried. I did have 2 pieces of vegetarian pizza on the night that I found out about the tumour but I'm not really counting that one!
The other thing I found was that I didn't drink as much water as I normally do. There is no school routine where I had my water pegged. And because I've been going back and forth to appointments I've not wanted to drink too much because I was in the car for ages. Or at the appointments where I'd have to be lying or sitting for upwards of half an hour. Not good situations to need to wee!
The positives have been though that I continued with my 2 shakes a day, I didn't eat anything sweet at all, I didn't eat anything fried. So basically I ate things that I probably would on stage 3, healthy alternatives, and I still lost 0.6. So all good!
I'm still feeling pretty positive. I haven't heard yet when I'll get the pesky thing out. I am getting quite bad headaches and I'm finding that mid afternoon I get quite dizzy, especially if I am out. I went to a friend's yesterday and also on Saturday and both times I felt quite ill about 3 or 4, not nauseous but very dizzy and wobbly. I was very excited yesterday to fit into a top that was too tight on my arms not long ago. I have put in a photo of that too here today. I am now noticing my face is slimmer which I am finding very satisfying, I always felt big because of all my chins, I think you can cover most other things somewhat but your face is on show for all to see.

I've got the wig lady coming over soon, along with my sister and a couple of friends to help me choose. I'll put photos when I pick!
And now for the photos! First one is this week, second is last week! I think I can slowly see my gut shelf at the top going down! Woohoo! Funny isn't it, sometimes it's the weeks you've had the least loss that you can tell more in the photos.
 

 

Thursday 26 March 2015

A bump in the road. 87.5kgs

I've had some bad news and some good news this week. It depends how you want to take it. I went for an MRI and an echo cardiogram on Tuesday and they found that I have a benign brain tumour. It was terribly scary, especially as (like in the movies) then asked if anybody was with me. When I replied my father in law had just gone to the car they said they'd send somebody to get him. That was enough to scare the shit out of me! They informed me that they had found a tumour behind my right ear, that it was benign, that it isn't a dangerous tumour at all but that the place where it sits is. I didn't know whether that meant that it's hard to remove it from there or what they meant. They had already contacted the neuro surgeons at the Alfred Hospital who said to come in on Wednesday, no appointment necessary. The Alfred called me twice that night to confirm, making me shit my pants even more. I have had headaches for years in the back of my head which I put down to posture/stress/bad neck, now I know why. Tuesday night as my headache was pounding, probably  due from panic and lack of sleep, I stressed thinking that I should go right then and there.
Wednesday came and I felt dreadful. I even packed a bag, thinking that surely they couldn't send me home feeling like this, they'd have to operate immediately. I even had to hold on to Paul on the long, long walk from the car park. We got in really quickly much to the annoyance of the hundred others waiting, (maybe not quite that many...) which panicked me a tad too. But once I was in there and spoke with their very competent surgeon I knew I was in the right place. And that it will be ok. And I felt much better which showed that half of it was panic! I still have dizziness and balancing problems but I don't feel as sick now. It's a bad position because of what it presses on, you can lose hearing amongst other things. It's also your balance centre, which is why I have been wobbly on my feet. They do however think that it's not the cause of my seizure type of activity last week. They said it's not in that area of the brain. They are referring me on to the neurology department there for further testing and I still have to have the heart monitor to double check that too. But on the positive side, if it hadn't happened they never would have caught the tumour. It's a slow growing one, it's 2cms so would have started about 20 years ago. So they're talking about me in a meeting on Monday to decide which of the 2 types it could be and which of the 2 surgeons will work on me. I'll have a huge scar but all going well I will have my life so who gives a fuck about a scar! 'Scuse the French!
The good news is that I am now allowed to buy wigs and claim them on medical insurance! I know that sounds silly but I don't care, I need something positive to focus on and that's it. I've always loved wigs but could never afford them. I spoke to a lovely lady at the cancer council, asking for guidance as to where I may get one, as they donate them to people who have lost their hair. I wasn't expecting one from them but she told me that I do qualify. I then however spoke with my health insurance and they said I can claim 2 each year up to $250 each! I found somebody who comes to the house so she's coming next week and my friend is coming to help me choose a couple! I don't have a problem with baldness, but my scar will apparently be down my neck and I don't want to grow my hair long again, I think it will age me more as my hair is grey. I can't be fagged dying it again so a wig is a good solution I think. And why not, use the perks I get!
As I still have 5 1/2 weeks left of the program I shall see how far I can go until the operation. Either way it will be good. I either have the op after my challenge finishes or beforehand in which case I'll either do my ending photo beforehand (if allowed) or at the end with my turban (or my scar showing). The only problem will be if I have the op in the actual 16th week which knowing my luck I will! It gives me something else to focus on and I want to lose the weight because I worked for it, not because I was in hospital spewing for a week! Though if that's how I lose the last few kilos that's ok too, has to be a bright side, right?
A few people have either said (or thought) that the shakes were the reason for the seizure. I know they're not. It's an excellently balanced program, run by a guy who really knows what he's talking about. Up until now I've felt better than ever before. I still think it's all related somehow. I know I have lost a lot but the main bit was the first 2 weeks, since then the average has been about a kilo a week, some less than a kilo. I'm eating excellent meals and a balanced diet. So please don't worry, I know what I'm doing and it really is safe. And the electrolytes have all been tested and in the doctors words, my blood tests were pristine! So please keep up with me on this journey, I'd hate to think people thought less of me for wanting to keep going or think I'm naïve to want to continue. I'll be in the best shape ever to have an op, not too overweight, non smoker, non drinker, all good!

Monday 23 March 2015

87.9 - another 1.8 kilos gone!

Wow, I've completely skipped over one of my numbers when reporting on here! I was very excited to be in the 88 kilo range, then this morning when I weighed in I found myself at 87.9 kilos! I got on the scales 4 more times to make sure, they can fluctuate a little bit but no, they said that 4 times out of 5!

It seems that whatever blockage I had last week was cleared after my seizure. I had only lost 0.5 kgs and couldn't understand why, except for the one slip up night I just wasn't losing weight. This week I've lost 1.8 kilos.  I've eaten all the right things again, except for one night that we had nothing in the house. It was Friday night and Paul had to take the kids to school, then work (on the other side of the city) then pick them up, go back to a closer workplace then be a wonderful dad and take my son and his friends to rollerskating. We had no food left in the house so he got McDonalds. From the too close one. That has protestors out the front. I said I may as well have a grilled chicken wrap, it's a good choice from a bad shop. He came home and left it all for the girls and I and took Bill skating. It tasted like cardboard, the most bland thing that looked so good. When he got home with a giant kebab from the place we've been driving past for years and have heard so many good reviews about I told him how bland it was. All I could smell was the delicious garlic on his one. I said I was worried that maybe my taste buds were going too. He said no, he told them to hold the aoli sauce. Lovely of him to think of me in that way, his heart was certainly in the right place. But I do like to taste my food! He didn't know how crap it would be though! Anyway, last night I went back to a stage 1 meal (stage 2 is the stir frys and wraps) and had steamed chicken and veggies with balsamic vinegar. And lost 0.6 last night alone. So yay for me!

I have my MRI today. Not looking forward to it. Just the thought of it makes me itchy, I always want to scratch in those keep still situations. I am also booked in for an echo cardiogram. Seizure Clinic isn't until May 8th! Still have to book in for my halter monitor and Doppler thingy. I'm still feeling dizzy most of the time so not venturing outside my door. Which is quite nice in a way. I will miss the social side of my life, but it means that I can concentrate on the balance of the semester of study that I am doing. I have been tempted to defer again but I've only 7 weeks to go and the whole diploma is done. The bachelor can be done part time if need be. Especially as I already deferred last year when my dad passed away.

So here's the photos, this week and last. Not as obvious as I thought they'd be, I've felt much thinner and wobblier this week but again, I'll reserve my judgement until I see the photos side by side! Ooh I do think I look more sticky out in my side one. But never mind, the scales tell me otherwise so it'll settle at some point!
 
 

Thursday 19 March 2015

A bit of a scare 89.1

I've had a weird week. Rather scary actually. On Wednesday I had dropped my Bridie and her friend off at cheerleading and popped in to visit a friend for a cuppa while I waited for them to finish. While I was there I had a turn. I just felt my eyes glazing over, said to Lou that I felt a bit dizzy, then next thing I knew she was telling me that she was on the phone to an ambulance. Of course the mum in me kicked in and said 'no, no, don't worry, I have to pick up Bridie!' Beth and Bill were with me so they stayed at Lou's and my friend picked up Bridie and took her home. Lou called Paul and let him know so life did go on without me just fine. A big thanks to my friends for helping out. the ambulance came and from what I overheard then later spoke about, I appeared to have some sort of a seizure. I was in and out of consciousness, I was staring at nothing and my hands and fingers were clenching spasmodically. Now I am a fainter but firstly I always have a reason for it (one was a particularly gruesome episode of Nip Tuck) and secondly I always have some warning, saying to myself that I think I'm going to faint and often lying down in time. This was about a 1 second warning which really scares the shit out of me as I have 3 kids to drive around and I drive a lot. Anyway, I'm off to the doctors tonight and have a letter from the hospital to refer me to a seizure clinic. The sooner the better. Paul has done the school run as I've been feeling crap too, and his dad will drop me at the doctors.
Of course, as I knew would happen, the doctors at the hospital quizzed me about the Rapid Loss. I knew there wasn't an issue there, maybe if it had happened within the first couple of weeks but it's been 9 weeks now. The doctor said the shake diets can stuff around with your electrolytes but honestly, I think I'm getting more vitamins and goodness into me than I ever have before, that side of things is making me feel fantastic. And his word for my blood tests was pristine! He checked for any adverse reactions and said there were none. Duh, I knew that anyway! Not sure if the sleeping pills are affecting me adversely so I'll ask about that tonight.
On the plus side I've lost more weight! Surprisingly as I had nurofen last night as my shoulders have been hurting me since before the incident. And yesterday my back was killing me but probably more because I lay in bed all day watching Breaking Bad! I know that weight loss isn't my priority when I'm feeling like this but it makes me feel good to concentrate on something good. And I've had no appetite so that's been fairly easy. Paul made me scrambled eggs with mushrooms and onions last night and I even told him to add butter to keep my calories up. On the day of the faint, I didn't end up having dinner, and subsequently lost no weight. I probably would have had I not been on the program but when you're on low calories anyway every little bit helps. And if I get out of control now it will be harder to a) reign it in when feeling better, b) be more weight to lose when I'm feeling better and c) be what I do when I get sick. So I'll keep plodding along and hopefully will have more answers after the doctors.

Monday 16 March 2015

89.7 not a great week

I've not had a particularly good week this week. I can only think of one slip up which was the fresh spring rolls, and the morning after they had only put on 0.1 anyway. I've still lost 0.5 which in most weight loss programs would be good, but I am aiming for a kilo a week and there is no reason why I can't get that if I do all the right things.
So I'm not sure what is going on. I'm drinking a heap of water, I'm eating really healthy. The only difference I have made this week is changing to skim milk from lite milk. I thought it would mean I would lose more quickly but obviously not. Maybe I've lowered my calories too much? I'll finish what I've got and change back I think. After all, I was losing a steady 1 kilo each week, most weeks 1.2 kilos or more. Why fix what isn't broken? I know I love the idea of getting to my goal before the 16 week challenge, I also know that 2 kilos a week isn't practical and I would be setting myself up for disappointment if I thought that it would be. Even if I was able to become a fitness freak in that time (which I highly doubt with my lack of sleep and my back going lots of the time) I just don't think I'd do it. And I don't want to put that pressure on myself. My goal is to lose 22 kilos by the end of the challenge. I have lost 15 1/2 so far, I have 14 1/2 to go I still have 7 weeks so if I do a kilo a week from now on in (and more would be a nice little bonus) then I will have done it. Then I can move on to stage 3 for the last 8 kilos, test the waters and see if I can lose still by eating my own healthy choices at dinner time. I'll be happy to lose half a kilo a week then, the competition will be over and I can start incorporating other foods which, along with the support of rapid loss and my wonderful forum friends, will be something I really look forward to.
I'm also not sure if something is going on hormonally. I've been flushy again the last few days and a little moody. As I don't know where I am in my cycle, who knows what is going on! I just know that other than the slight slip up, I really can't do any more food wise to achieve my goal. There is nothing else to cut out, I can't drink any more water if I tried. So I'll just put it down to a shitty week and aim for the moon this week. Here's this weeks photos. Not sure yet again if there is any difference. I think I look even bigger on the side one but the front one I can see more smoothness in my sides. One of my forum friends commented that I'd have to be holding these knickers up soon. I think I'm actually just growing into them. They are a size 14, I bought them this size because they are lovely and stretchy. Clearly they're meant to be visible, not just when the gut gets held up, now they're doing the job they were supposed to do in the first place! Maybe I can wear them all the way through?!
As always the first picture is this week, the second is last week. So the one with the towel hanging is this week.
 

 

Saturday 14 March 2015

Pushing too far

I did a stupid thing last night and had the thai fresh spring rolls again. I did it last week and still had a loss, but last week I was having a good week so I thought I could chance it. This week I had a rise of .4 after my going down under 90, then it took me a couple of days but I was at  89.7 yesterday. Today I weighed in at 89.8 or 89.9 depending. My digital scales can say different things each time so I usually do it several times until one number has come up 2 or 3 times! It's hard because I want to go for the lowest number but if it only comes up once then I don't.
Anyway, I guess the point is that I was thinking that they're healthy and not many calories at all but also making excuses as to why it would be ok to have them for the second week in a row. Clearly it wasn't. I've only got 7 weeks left, I don't want to start straying too often otherwise I'll lose focus.
I think I was allowing it because I did lots of work in the garden yesterday. We have hard garbage next weekend so we're getting rid of all our crap. Our garden has become an overgrown jungle, not just plant wise but from decks being built and the spa going in, Paul just chucks things wherever and, as I discovered yesterday, just leaves them in the garden to become part of the landscape! We got rid of our old rusty, torn trampoline, much to Bridie's dismay. We may get another at another stage but with it gone we can plan the garden better. It's only little but big enough for us. I'm thinking maybe a Bali design, certainly tropical to go with our spa and deck. And thinking of putting a pond in as we're getting Beth a turtle for her birthday so would be good to have an outside alternative to the tank.
So..... the garden work didn't make me lose weight and neither did the spring rolls. That's ok though, I was a bit over them last night. I could smell the kids chips and it made me so hungry. I must remember to eat before they do so that I don't feel like cheating. As that's the only treat I have had other than the half a souva that I had goodness knows how long ago, again, I'm gotten past wanting them. Which is a good thing. No more now, time to be good again.

Wednesday 11 March 2015

A bit shitty

I've woken up feeling rather shitty this morning. I weighed in yesterday and was extremely excited to find that I was in the 80s! 89.9 to be exact so only just, but still! Then I've weighed in again this morning and found I'm back up to 90.3.
I thought I had a good day yesterday. I still have my oldest daughter home sick so I drank lots of water. I had my shakes for breakfast and lunch and a stir fry for dinner. The only thing I think I didn't do was to have more than one snack. I only had an orange and you're meant to have 2 pieces of fruit and a yoghurt. I often don't have the yoghurt which isn't a biggie, it doesn't seem to have affected me much. This morning I made a decaf coffee though and put the wrong milk in it, the full cream was where my skim milk is, hopefully I didn't use that in my shake yesterday!
I had a little bonus too. I was expecting a 3 tub prize pack because I had commented on the Rapid Loss facebook page with some exercise suggestions in a competition. They sent me 6 though! I have sent them a message explaining and offering to pay for the other 3 if it was a mistake but I've heard nothing back. As I thought it was only 3 I asked just for latte so now I've got a shitload of latte. Paul came home last night and asked what my pyramid of tubs was doing on the bench, I told him it's because I'm being recognised as a winner!
I went back to the doctors yesterday to ask again about something to help me to sleep. I've not been bad on the ones originally suggested, after I decided that half a tablet every 3rd night wasn't enough. I had googled the tablets I was on and half was the dosage for a child or an elderly person. So I went up to one. Still, I was only getting that night's sleep when I had that one and the other 2 nights up to 2 hours if I was lucky. I figured they must be short term ones if they were being that limiting so I spoke to the doctor about it yesterday. She put me on to another type but it does sweet f.a! I googled them too at 2am and again, she had given me a dose of 10 mg when the recommended dose is between 15 and 30! And the chemist told me when I got them that they don't keep you asleep, just put you to sleep. But should be for 4 hours which it wasn't.  I've still got some of the others left so I'm just going to have them until I can talk to her on the phone. She was ok with me continuing with them but preferred the newer one.  I can't survive on that amount of sleep and I can't drive my kids for such long times either. I'm a bit peeved. I understand starting on a low dose and increasing it if necessary but tell me that in my appointment, not for me to ask at the next one. When I explained the half dosage problem for the other one she was quite agreeable that it wouldn't do. I wish she'd told me that 3 weeks ago!
So besides feeling really tired and shitted off about the weight gain, I am feeling positive still. I think it's the whole half way mark. I've gotten through half way, I've got less than half way to go now. Not that I'll stop when I've done the 16 weeks, I'll still have 7 or 8 kilos to go, but it's just a nice feeling. A determined feeling to get through and win!

Monday 9 March 2015

Half way 90.2 kilos

I'm so close I can taste it! To the half way point that is. But half way means so much. I'm half way through my 16 weeks, at the end of week 8 now.  Also half way weight wise, the 15 kilo mark, but I'll be under 90 for the first time in so many years I can't even imagine. I am so excited about that, I can do under 90. Because that means there's just one more under a ten number (I'm sure there's a technical term for them but I can't think what it is!) to nearly be at my goal. I sailed past 100 in my first week to get into the 90s, within the next few days I'll be in my 80s!
I'm hoping that my switch to skim milk might make a difference, not sure if it will or not but it's a good time to start, half way through, so that I will be able to assess if that's what makes a difference if I have better losses. I lost 1.2 kilos this week, still happy with my progress, over 1 kilo each week after my slower weeks early on due to coffee and nurofen intake. My sleep still isn't sorted out so I'm going back to the doctors tomorrow. I tried the vaporizer with just the menopausal melatonin last night, I wanted to get a proper reading of my 'normal' night's sleep without a sleeping pill and it was pretty woeful. I did drop back to sleep a couple of times. Interestingly each time I have very vivid dreams, that's how I knew I'd been asleep. Not sure if that was to do with the vaporizer or not. I will just say, I can't do this anymore unless I can have a sleeping pill more often as I'm only meant to have one every 3rd night. In fact only half a one which does bugger all. I can't function on 1 to 2 hours sleep a night and it's not safe driving my kids around so I'll just tell her that. She's told me that being overweight contributes to sleep apnea which I believe but as I'm not going to be my proper weight for at least 12 weeks I need to survive in the interim. Anyway I'll let you know how I go.
Now for the photos! Again, I can't see a huge difference but then afterwards I have a sly peek and usually see something. I can't expect to see huge differences for each kilo but I still like to keep a track of them because when I go back and look it's really obvious. So the first one is this week, the second is last week. And then just for fun, my first weeks ones! I like to look at these once in a while, especially the side gut one, makes me feel great!
 
 

 
 
 

Sunday 8 March 2015

90.3 Skinny Milk and spring rolls

I was just pleasantly surprised to come in at 90.3 kgs. This means I've got to my kilo for the week plus .1 and I still have until tomorrow. I don't think I'll lose .4 and get me under the 90 mark but I'll get close.
I have realised that there were 2 more things that may take me through losing a little bit better so I'm doing them this week. One of them is that I have been using lite milk rather than skinny milk. I'm not sure why I didn't click at that before, it's a fairly obvious one, but I shall use it to my advantage now. Not that I've slowed down, I've been dutifully losing a kilo each week, most weeks a tad over. But it would be lovely to think I may be even closer or at my goal weight at the end. Tomorrow marks the halfway mark. 8 weeks gone, 8 weeks to go. So nearly 15 kilos gone, 15 kilos to go which is a coincidence. Who would have thought it 8 weeks ago?! I was a bit concerned about using skinny milk as I already feel pretty hungry at times during the daytime, but I'm used to that now and if it gets me over the line then I'm ready to do it baby! I also decided to do the 2 day detox that you can get from Rapid Loss. Normally you would do this at the beginning of the program as you are detoxing and starting on level 1. I asked though on the forum and others have said it can sometimes get you through the plateau that can happen sometimes while you're losing weight so it can't hurt to do it halfway through. And I need a little help there as I have been a little constipated lately. Exercise does help there but I've been so tired lately that it's an effort to get that done. Still, it works for all sorts of reasons. The one mentioned above, toning up my flab that I'm excited to find, losing weight faster and helping me to sleep better.
I've had a weird time with the sleeping still. The vaporizer that I found out in the garage is a pretty old one, I put it on again on Saturday night (it's now Monday) but obviously didn't do it properly. Because it worked so well the night before when I took my sleeping pill, I thought I'd just do it with the melatonin and other natural things and I didn't end up even getting to sleep until 5.30 in the morning! The only good thing about getting 2 hours sleep that night is that it was later in the morning. Last night I had the sleeping pill again and Paul put more water in it which seemed to help as I slept through again which was wonderful. Every night I have a special melatonin for menopausal women, even on my sleeping pill night. On the alternate nights I have that one plus a normal melatonin and a slow release melatonin. I'm going to buy a new vaporizer that works all the time today and I think tonight I might try my cyclamen (the special one) by itself. Maybe it's reacting with the other melatonins? I know the vaporizer makes a difference because before I used it, even with the sleeping pill I was waking at 3am, never later, sometimes much earlier. I am a bit worried though about doing it because school is back tomorrow so if I'm exhausted I'll find it hard to drive. I'm going to the doctors on Wednesday though and I want to have a clear picture as to what I have done. I don't want to come out of there with no answers as before I've been told that when I lose weight it will help the sleep apnea so we'll wait and see, but an hour or two of sleep a night isn't acceptable, or safe. I either need to be allowed to continue on the sleeping tablets or put onto ones that I can be on. Of course it would be lovely if I just slept through tonight and announced that I had discovered an easy solution to sleep apnea!
I had fresh spring rolls last night from the Thai restaurant. They're not on the Rapid Loss menu at all but they were a conscious choice. They're very healthy, it's just the ingredients that we're not supposed to have, such as rice noodles. But they were all fresh, with fresh grated carrot and prawns and were really yummy.
I had my head shaved on Saturday, my friend Bree did it and it feels lovely. I had Bridie take some photos and I'm very happy with how I'm looking at the moment. I went to my lovely Intimo lady's house yesterday too, to try on a black wrap dress that they have just started to sell. I went then because my party isn't for another month and they may have sold out by then! I tried on the size larger than I am now, as it has been suggested that I upsize to make it comfortable. So I ended up choosing a size 16 as I will be a size 14. I'm very excited! I'm planning ahead, I've wanted a black wrap dress for ages and it's lovely and stretchy and very comfy. And it showed an hourglass figure, and my boobs looked great! So it was worth the investment, for my after photos.

Friday 6 March 2015

90.7. Sleeping better

I've had some shocking sleeps this week but the last 2 nights haven't been bad at all. The night before last I woke at 4 something which was wonderful for me. It was like a sleep-in! Then this morning I woke at 5.45! Oh my goodness. I did have sleeping pills on both nights (which are meant to be only every 3rd night), but they usually take me through to about 2 or 3am. Tonight I'll see how I go with my melatonin. 2 things I have done differently. One is that I bought a sleeping mixture which has essential oils in it. Was told to put one drop on a tissue next to the bed. It smells quite lovely actually. I did this 3 nights ago but Beth used it to blow her nose on! Luckily she didn't for the last 2. Then last night I put a vaporizer in the room because Beth has a chest infection. I put eucalyptus oil as well as my tissue and next thing I was waking up for the first time at 5.45. Tonight I shall put the drop in the vaporizer as well as the eucalyptus and see if it works still. I'd be happy to have that in my room every night if I get a good night's sleep.
We as rapid loss contestants got a lovely surprise. Last year's winner popped in to support us and wish us well. She has become a body builder and is doing fantastically! How lovely of her to take the time to encourage those of us who are battling with it now. And not only to post but to respond to each and every one of us who responded, thanking her for being on there. The forum has been a godsend and truly makes all the different, having the support of others who are going through the same thing. Especially when you have old and new friends on there. Check out Mary now, she certainly didn't put it all back on when she lost it! I hope I'm half as inspiring!
http://www.hmbhealth.com/BLOGS/ActiveBloggers/MaryCarra/tabid/4992/entryid/1079/Mary-Carra-From-97-7kg-and-now-about-to-compete.aspx

Wednesday 4 March 2015

90.9 walking dead

I'm still bloody exhausted but I lost another 0.4 kilos in the night so I'm happy. I wonder if I was getting a decent night's sleep if I wouldn't feel so compelled to weigh myself every morning?  It's almost like it's my reward for surviving yet another night. It's what I look forward to getting up, seeing how well I've done. Especially if I've been particularly good the day before. Yesterday I drank lots of water and I had my main meal at lunchtime. I think that helps, gives my body a chance to digest it all before going to sleep. Or not to sleep in my case.
I've had kids home sick all week. My oldest, nearly 16, is quite bad. I took her to the doctors yesterday and she just made it to the toilet being sick. She has a chest infection and an ear infection and when she gets sick it usually lasts about a week. So what was going to be my extra long day yesterday (I drive her quite a distance for school) ended up being me taking her to the doctors and the chemist and finally home for a nice sleep for the poor love. I still managed a little bit of treadmill time and no study but I've got 2 housebound days left this week to get up to speed on both.
I am now officially (in Rapid Loss weight) half way to my goal weight! As they round down the numbers, they say I've lost 15 kilos and have 15 to go. I know it's actually 14.1 kgs but who am I to quibble! I'm so happy that I'm on this journey. Please, anybody who is saying the weight is too big, the goal too insurmountable, it's not! I kept thinking that when I was 20 kilos overweight, then finally 30 kilos overweight. I would have kept climbing if it wasn't for this challenge. I figured 16 weeks out of my life I could go by rules, strict as they may be. Give me a good head start. I've never been on a meal plan that I've lost consistently over a kilo a week most times. And now I'm half way. And 15 kilos doesn't feel that big at all, that hard to get to. I've had to lose that amount in my younger years and managed it. I know that some may have even more to lose but I guarantee you, once you start on the journey you'll feel so fantastic that you'll just want to keep going. My thoughts were that it would take me too long to look any different yet 8 weeks later I am looking different, and really, it's flown by. My legs are even starting to have some loose skin which I love, time to tone them up!

Monday 2 March 2015

91.4. My boobies still look fabulous thank goodness!

ok well just scraped in the kilo today, in fact made it 1.2 kilos. I've had a difficult week mentally. I hired a sleep apnea machine yesterday and it didn't work at all for me, in fact it woke me up more, then after wearing it for 3 hours I took it off. And stayed away until 4.30am. So big fail here which sucks!
I went out yesterday to visit my mothers group mums which was lovely. There are 3 of us that have stayed in contact nearly 16 years on. I am lucky to have such supportive friends (in fact all of my friends have been wonderful) as Karen told me what she was making, a Greek Salad and pastries. I took along my tin of tuna and happily ate her salad, plus another that Liesl took, both of which had dressings on the side which I could leave. They were both delicious, something I never thought I would say of a salad, which shows that my tastes are changing and I am appreciating things that I can have instead of craving the things I can't.
I was speaking to my friend Cel about it last night. I remember one of the times I gave up smoking, I went to a place called Smoke-enders. Their motto was 'One Will Hurt'. And it is so true in everything we do. One ciggie did hurt, one alcoholic drink did hurt, one row of chocolate does hurt. Not hurt in the traditional sense of the word, just that it fools you into thinking it was ok. I know in the past, I could sneak a bit of choccy or have a pizza night and have a loss still. This would make me think that I got away with it, that it would be ok to do it again when clearly it wasn't. I would then either not lose weight or put it back on, feel guilty and ashamed, and go off of my plan altogether. Similarly with smoking when I would go out and bot a few cigarettes from a friend and not want to smoke again all week. I would think I could social smoke, then I'd find all sorts of excuses to see my smoking friend again. ONE WILL HURT. It fools you into thinking it's ok to do it again. I'm not saying never, I'm just saying not now. Even with my souvlaki slip, I factored it in, I decided to have it and planned how I would minimize the damage. I would absolutely love to do it again, and it would probably be ok again, but the mental games might start again, the 'I still lost weight so I can do it again next week' and I don't want to do that, I want to continue with how I am going. So I'm not going down that path again, because I need to change and that's not changing, that's slipping backwards which is what made me 30 kilos overweight in the first place.
I hope I have the energy to continue my training this week. Rapid Loss kindly sent me a Rapid Loss T-Shirt to wear on my run/stagger. I think I'll put it on today to train, that will spur me on!
Sooo..... here's what you've all been waiting for! The first one is this week, the second one is last week. I feel rather rounded in the gut this week, quite bloated, but my knickers stretching further shows me that I have indeed lost more weight. In fact looking at them, my side on makes my gut look even bigger but my front one looks better. I guess it just depends on the day, hormones, bodily actions, moods.  And my boobs don't seem to have shrunk much at all so far which I am happy about!